Breaking the Cycle
by mumb0jumb0
Summary: James T. Kirk is well known for happily being a womanizer. Suddenly he feels strange and nervous due to an unknown cause. After a few drinks and a simple question make his state apparent, his friends worry. Maybe someone is conflicting his old habit.
1. Something Unsettling

**A/N: _This is not only my first Star Trek (2009) fanfic, but my first fic ever, so I'm getting used to this system. I had been wanting to write a Star Trek fic for about 3 weeks now, seeing as the latest film has converted me into a trekkie, but I had writer's block and no inspiration, but then yesterday, inspiration hit me like a truck and I wrote up these two chapters in about 24 hours so that I wouldn't forget and decided to post them right away. _**

**_You may see that currently there seems to be no romantic interests for Jim, even though it is labelled as a romance fic, but that's just because this is the beginning, and I have an idea as to who it shall be but am still not entirely sure so I decided to keep the introductory chapters pretty neutral. But don't get discouraged from reading, because there WILL be romance! Currently the rating is 'T', but depending on how much I enjoy the pairing I might raise it to 'M', who knows. I've never written smut so that's a huge factor. _**

**_ALSO, because I am a new trekkie, I apologize if I've made any mistakes with anythng ranging from Spock's diction to the terminology used. I have done plenty of research and watched several episodes of TOS, but I'm not perfect so if you spot a mistake please let me know so that I can fix it! Thanks :) And specifically to Chekov... I do not speak Russian but I've done research as well and have asked for help from my Russian friends but again, if I've made a mistake don't hesitate to tell me._**

**_Anyways, I apologize for this unbearably long A/N, it's because this is the first chapter of my first fic! I promise that any future ones will be short and sweet. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it so far! It will be a continuous work so if you enjoy it I will give you something good to read for a while._**

**I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

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**1. Something Unsettling**

There was something different about this particular evening that had Kirk restless. It was routine for him to hang back on the bridge for an hour or two after the rest of the crew had left to complete their own personal routines for the night, yet the Captain found himself unable to admire the sleek design of the control boards, or even the streaks of light that were stars being passed by the U.S.S. Enterprise at warp speed. Even their current destination seemed to have slipped Kirk's mind, and he was only able to recall that they had at least a day left before they arrived.

Bothered by his inability to remain still, and the sensation that if he sat there any longer some unknown force would tighten around him, the Captain left his bridge in search of some fellow crewmembers to join him for a drink. A bit of alcohol and good company would help him relax from his current state, surely.

After a few minutes of roaming the halls of his ship on deck five, he heard familiar voices arguing, drifting down the passage from what seemed to be coming from the recreation room. Kirk quickened his pace and had to smile as he rounded the corner into rec room three onto a pleasantly familiar scene. Several crewmembers from various parts of the ship were using the room, but the arguing he heard down the hall belonged to his chief medical officer and the young ensign Chekov. Alongside them he found his first officer Spock, looking intrigued by their argument. Scotty was with them as well, but seemed to be lost in a technical journal, unaware of the words of his friends. As Kirk approached the members of his beloved bridge crew as well as his engineer, he understood the bemused expression, shown by a raised eyebrow, on Spock's face. Bones and Chekov were very intently arguing over the petty subject of where the hypospray was invented. Kirk knew that his CMO would never allow his medical knowledge or expertise to be proven wrong, lest he go into a temporary state of depression that would earn anyone who attempted to speak to him a few extremely snarky insults, and the young ensign wouldn't injure his patriotic pride by accepting that anything was invented in someplace other than Russia. The Captain chuckled as he mused over the fact that this argument may never see an end, in turn making his presence known.

All but Scotty, engorged in the journal, looked up at him. Spock looked at his Captain and friend questioningly, possibly expecting an explanation for this odd human behaviour. McCoy scowled at him, then at Chekov as the young boy smiled cheerfully up at him as he greeted him.

"Hello Keptin!" he beamed, before frowning a little to seriously for his young complexion and turning to face McCoy once again. They momentarily seemed to hold a sort of glaring contest, and Spock still looked expectantly at Kirk, who simply shook his head to show that he understood their behaviour as little as he did. It was then that Bones snapped his attention back up to him, still scowling.

"Jim, help me out here, will ya? This little Ruskie won't accept the fact that he's wrong." he almost whined to him. Сhekov's jaw dropped in disbelief. He too looked up at the Captain, then banged his hand against the table.

"Пиздец, мудак!" the ensign shouted with a flustered expression on his face. Spock, being the only other one at the table who understood Russian, widened his eyes at the comment, but made no remark. "I have explained zis to you already docter McCoy. You insist zat zee hypospray vas inwented by American named Aaron Ismach in 1960." Chekov stated as-a-matter-of-factly, before continuing. "A year before, not too far from Leningrad, a man named Mikhail Alexandrov produced zee original designs for vat in English voud be called 'mist-inwector'. Zis design vas stolen by U.S. Army and given to Aaron to construct. It vas inwented in Russia and stolen by America… but zis is little known fact, so I understand zat you vere unaware, docter McCoy." he said hotly, doing his best to annunciate each word as clearly as his heritage would allow him, but this only thickened his accent.

Kirk watched the scowl on McCoy's face deepen as he thought of a retort. He knew Bones didn't want to offend the boy with harsh insults, but the longer he thought about what he would say, the less PG the comment became. It was a good time to end the petty argument. Bones was ready to open his mouth when Kirk slapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Can we put this discussion on pause, maybe?" the Captain laughed nervously. "I was wondering if you were interested in joining me for a drink to blow off some steam."

His crewmembers looked at him as he flashed a confident smile, and nodded. Bones inaudibly grumbled what was most likely his insult saved for Chekov, and then stood up to join his friend. Chekov jumped out of his seat.

"Of course, Keptin. Drinking vas inwented in Russia!" he beamed. Kirk heard McCoy groan sarcastically behind him, but could tell that the mood had lightened already. Spock stood and cleared his throat.

"The human tradition of consuming alcohol in large quantities is beyond me, and Vulcans rarely consume any aside from specific holidays…" he noted the disappointment on his crew-mates faces before continuing, "…but I will join you all by consuming a small amount while observing your behaviour."

Kirk clapped his hands at this and turned to leave the rec room, when he realized that Scotty hadn't said a word. Facing the table once again, he leaned his torso over the table, obnoxiously blocking Scotty's view of the technical journal he had been reading with his smiling face. Scotty was not amused.

"Sir, if ye don' mind, I'd like to finish reading me journal before turnin' in for the night." he said while trying to continue reading the journal through Kirk's head. Kirk stood, confused.

"Scotty, in all the time I have known you, you have never turned down a drinking opportunity." There was no response. "I have Scotch, your favourite…" he pleaded. Scotty laughed and shook his head.

"I understand, man, that this is _extremely _out of character of me, but at the moment I'd much rather read these journals. Don' worry about me, Sir. I'll take ye up on the offer next time, as long as you promise me some scotch"

Without taking his eyes off the journal, he waved them off.

"All right Mr. Scott." he sighed. "Just keep in mind that next time I offer, you have no excuse."

"Aye, Captain." Scotty replied, waiving them off again. Kirk then marched out of the rec room, the people who off duty he called his friends following close behind.

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**A/N: _ Liked it so far? Didn't like it? Let me know in a review! Don't forget to read the next chapter. It gets even better :)_**

**_~hace_**


	2. To Women!

**A/N: _And the plot thickens... I hope you've liked it so far. Here's the next tidbit. I hope it sounds as good to you as it does to me. Enjoy!_**

**I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

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**2. To Women!**

His quarters were conveniently close to the rec room, and it was a short walk before they arrived. The Captain punched in the code, and entered his living space, inviting the other three to follow him. While Spock and McCoy were quite adjusted to the Captain's quarters, Chekov spent a few minutes taking in the room, despite his embarrassment of doing so. He noted that although the room was not huge compared to many, it was slightly larger, and was furnished with more than just a bed. There was also a desk strewn with federation notices and star charts, and a dark wooden table at which Kirk had already taken a seat. Chekov wondered where the captain had gotten the table, due to the fact that there wasn't much made of wood aboard this ship. Besides the wooden, what captured the ensign's attention the longest was the window just above the Captain's bed, showing a vast sea of stars and planets. He made a mental note that during the next quarter switch, he'd have to request a room with a window as well.

They took their seats as Kirk pulled out a bottle of whiskey and unscrewed the cap quite dramatically.

"We'll save the scotch for when Scotty pulls his nose out of those technical journals." he said jokingly. "How much longer until we arrive at our destination, Spock?" he asked as he poured four glasses. The first officer took his glass and looked thoughtful.

"36 hours, presuming that 3 hours have passed since we left the bridge." he said and raised the glass to his nose and inhaled. He raised an eyebrow before taking a cautious sip. "Nothing stronger than anything consumed during Vulcan ceremonies." he thought out loud. As if on queue, Chekov took a sip and coughed. Kirk and Bones eyed him curiously.

"Sorry, sir. I have never drank viskey before. I vas unsure vat to expect." he admitted, his embarrassment made apparent by his blushing cheeks. Bones laughed.

"It's alright, Chekov." he said as he patted the boy on the back. "We'll forgive you for now."

Chekov laughed and downed his glass, most likely to prove he was more than able to handle it. After a slight grimace, he pushed his glass back towards the Captain, and it was refilled without question.

"If Spock is right, and never dare I try to disprove his calculations, we have plenty of time for the whole bottle." Kirk said as he poured himself another as well, laughing. Spock raised his glass and nodded to the comment.

After a little over an hour, the unusually large bottle was half empty, and Kirk was feeling quite relaxed with his friends. The feeling of suffocation had disappeared and was replaced by loud laughter, result of their current conversation. Bones was telling a story about the ridiculous behaviours of his ex-wife, and Chekov listened wide-eyed, giggling at every mention of her aspiration to have an erroneous number of children, and what she would do to try to achieve her goal. Spock was a different story. Anyone who did not know him well would assume that the Vulcan was in a perfect state of normalcy, but the three could tell that the alcohol had had some affect on him due to the smile that kept twitching at the left corner of his mouth. A perfectly normal Spock would not have allowed his amusement with their current behaviours to be expressed on his face.

"Thank God I never gave her any of mine. She booted me after three years." he said gruffly. "Damn women…"

"Now now, Bones, let's not be rash. Women are a wonderful thing!" Kirk stated.

"I agree with zee Keptin." Chekov chimed in with a lazy grin. Kirk patted his arm.

"Pavel… Pavel…" he said while shaking his head. Chekov, not used to his first name being used on the ship, looked up startled. Kirk continued. "We're off duty, call me Jim."

"Thank you, Sir, but I zink I vill call you Keptin. I von't remember who Jim is, Sir!" he said. Besides when he accidentally answered their questions in Russian, his speaking wasn't sloppy at all. The three looked at him and his huge smile, before Kirk turned very seriously to continue with his lecture to Bones.

"This boy is smart, Bones…" he started to say, when Bones interrupted.

"The boy swears everything has a Russian root." he reminded his friend. Kirk smiled.

"Well, at this rate, I might think that he's right about everything he told us today about the 'mist-injector', seeing as you're sitting over there damning women." he poked back at his friend. Bones snorted in disapproval, but Kirk continued with the lecture. "We need women to satisfy us, to make us happy, to confuse the hell out of us as they so often do… and we need to worship them. Each curve of a woman's body, well most women's bodies, is divine, and with proper treatment, a woman can make you the happiest being alive… if only for one night."

"To women!" Chekov toasted, before downing what must have been his sixth whiskey.

"To women!" Kirk imitated, and had to pour himself another as well.

The left corner of Spock's lips trembled violently as the alcohol fought with his logic over whether or not he should smile on accord to their, in accordance to the human race, funny behaviour. "Fascinating…" he muttered, catching McCoy's attention.

"Speaking of fascinating…" he said, turning to face the first officer, "…how are you and Nyota doing?" Bones asked, raising his eyebrows rather suggestively.

Spock's logic seemed to have a battle again against the alcohol flowing through his green blood, and lost as his mouth stretched into a shy smile.

"I do not believe that this matter is appropriate to discuss, especially without Lt. Uhura's approval, doctor."

Obviously the alcohol had won the battle for facial expressions, but Spock's logic seemed to have sacrificed it in order to keep his brain as normal as possible. Kirk laughed at the thought.

"That smile gives away enough, Spock." he pointed out, making his friend aware of how emotionally open he was being in front of them. A light green blush flushed in Spock's cheeks. Desperate to draw attention away from his self-proclaimed state of weakness, he acknowledged Chekov.

"Why don't you question the ensign about his affairs with women, Captain? I am certain that the quality of his tales far exceeds mine."

Kirk nodded, then looked questioningly at the boy.

"Well, Pasch, spill it." he demanded. "Captain's orders." he added with his too-well-known smirk.

The bluntness of the order surprised Chekov, causing his cheeks to flame.

"Vell… Sir… my experiences with women goes as far as my age allows me." he answered nervously. Kirk and Bones eyed his skeptically. Spock's mouth was now stuck in a grin. "All right, all right…" the ensign chuckled, "…perhaps a little bit more than zat." This confession came with a proud smile. Then he looked at Kirk.

"Vat about you, Sir? Are you still as famous with zee ladies as I heard you were?"

Kirk adjusted the collar of his yellow Starfleet sweater smugly, and Bones brought his palm to his forehead in dismay of having to hear his friend gloat. They will never be sure of whether or not it actually happened, but Kirk could've sworn he heard Spock laugh to himself; probably over how predictable their behaviour was.

"Well, my young friend," the Captain started with a smile, "I…"

His voice trailed of as a look of confusion overpowered his previous look of contentment. He racked his brain for the most recent events, but couldn't remember anything beyond his encounter with Gaila, which took place over a year ago. Yes, he had been too preoccupied during the conflict with Nero to seduce any of the women on board the Enterprise, but during the months that followed, besides the odd battle and mission, there had been plenty of time.

"Keptin?" Chekov ventured, confused by the expression on Kirk's face. Bones seemed to be put off as well, and Spock's expression of happiness returned to one of intrigue.

Kirk shook his head. The feeling of confusion and suffocation returned. Something had been bothering him and this question triggered it. He couldn't grasp what the problem was, but made the connection to it being the reason for his empty slate over the past year. This turned out to be a bigger problem than he had expected, and he couldn't put a finger on what it was. It was affecting him in more ways than one, it seemed, but only just now had he come to realize it. Kirk slowly became more and more frustrated as he racked his brain, trying to remember what had changed in his environment after escaping the grips of the Narada, but remained answerless. He felt his chest contracting, causing his panic to slowly rise.

"Damn it, Jim!" Bones growled as he moved to take his pulse. "What the hell are you doing?" He always became angrier when he was worried about his friend. "Spock, call sickbay, I'm going to send him down; his pulse is irregular. Chekov, talk to him. Try to calm him down. I'm going to continue to monitor his pulse."

Spock stood up and left the room quick-paced, and Chekov bit his lip, shocked by the current state of his Captain and unable to think of something to say.

"Eh, Jim?" The ensign tried using the Captain's first name, but without luck. Kirk slumped in his chair.

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**A/N: _And romance ensues... haha. Please review if you want more! I will be working on the next chapter for the next few days and will thy to finish and perfect it as quickly as possible, but I will only post it if you ask me to._**

_**All it takes is one review, and I will continue posting new chapters. Otherwise, you may be reading but if I don't know that you are then I will get upset and stop writing, because I have a lot on my plate like most writers here, and I take time to write my chapters. I post it for you the reader! **_

_**Hey, even though I'm pretty sure who I want to introduce as the romantic interest in the next chapter, you can give me your suggestion and if you ask nicely and convince me with a few good reasons as to why this character is perfect for Kirk then you just might get what you want! That's what reviews are for :)**_

_**Thank you for reading and please review!!!**_

_**~hace**_


	3. Dim the Lights

**A/N:** _**T****hanks so much for the reviews so far! After receiving several requests, I felt confident with my original pairing so I'm happy! I hope you guys will be too :) If you requested something else I'm deeply sorry, but I will let you know that even thought it might not be considered a pairing, conflicts will arise to keep the drama fresh (something that's very important, lol). I'm definitely not going to ignore the rest of the characters, but balance quite a few and create a few plot lines to run parallel with the main one. All relevant of course. You will be seeing the rest of your precious bridge crew, no worries!**_

_**This is my longest chapter yet, and I put loads of research and effort into this (writing star trek fics requires so much research it's crazy, but I've enjoyed writing this so it's not biggie) ALSO, when I write these in Word I format my story a little differently. I include indentations and spacings that make it easier for the eye to follow, but when I upload them FF gets rid of all that and I'm not sure how to fix it. If you have any tips please let me know!**_

_**That wasn't short and sweet. I apologize. haha enjoy what I've written so far!**_

**I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

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**3. Dim the Lights**

His eyes opened to meet a pair of light blue ones staring back. It was all Kirk was able to make out through his blurred vision, a pair of blue eyes, and a bright light.

"Doctor McCoy, he's waking up." he heard a familiar voice say softly, but no matter how hard he tried to put a name to the voice, he was unsuccessful. The eyes looked away, and a face that seemed to be easier to make out took their place.

"Bones…?" Kirk mumbled, squinting. The primarily white colour scheme of the sickbay was blinding him. He heard a sigh of relief.

"Jim you had me scared shitless." McCoy scolded. "I couldn't imagine having to take orders from Captain Hobgoblin again."

He tried to laugh at his friend's sarcastic remark, but found that it took too much effort as a searing headache split his skull. Kirk pulled at his hair and winced. Bones took note and said something to the other person in the room.

"Yeah, I'm sure my brain would be seeking revenge too if I deprived it of oxygen for 10 minutes." he heard Bones say, while waving a tricorder around his head. "Well, that and possibly because of the awful hangover you must be experiencing."

"The worst I've ever had." he confirmed. "What do you mean no oxygen for ten minutes?"

"You stopped breathing, Jim. It was ten minutes before we got you to the sickbay and were able to give you any oxygen."

"Shit…" Kirk gaped.

"Shit is right!" Bones said as he aggressively injected a generic supplement hypospray into Kirk's neck, causing him to wince again. "That was one hell of a panic attack you had, and one hell of a scare you gave us." he hissed as he found himself without a valid medical excuse to bother his friend any longer, and simply jabbed Kirk's arm with his thumb. Kirk jumped.

"Ow! What the-"

"Quiet, Jim. Do you remember what exactly triggered the attack?" Bones asked.

Kirk furrowed his eyebrows in thought. He remembered the feeling, but why? Was it simply because he had realized that he hadn't been with a woman in a year, or was it because he simply had no idea as to _why _this was the case?

Actually, he had a hunch that the _why_ was his problem, and once that ambiguity was resolved, everything would be back to normal, right? He hoped so. Obviously, he couldn't continue like this, and his ego suffered tremendous injuries last night after he realized that it had been just over a year. A whole year…

"Jim!" Bones shouted, snapping Kirk back into attention. "Anything come to mind?"

"No Bones, I'm sorry. I don't seem to know what the problem is." he said with an airy edge to his voice. He knew this would lead to many sleepless nights if he didn't solve it soon. "I'll do my best to figure it all out though." Kirk added as McCoy patted his shoulder.

"Well I hope you do. Don't do that to me again, all right?" he said in that tone of voice that mothers use to scold a child that had disappeared from their vision; harsh yet caring. "It's one thing to have to worry myself over some battle wound, but a damn panic attack, Jim…" he heard his friends voice trail off as he turned to face the other company that was in the room with them. Kirk liked it when his friend showed such strong emotions. He knew that McCoy was no Vulcan, but sometimes it seemed that he could only express bitterness through his seemingly permanent scowl and sarcastic insults. He tuned back into his surroundings.

"…so if you could monitor him for a bit, Spock has called me to the bridge. Damn Vulcan won't let me sit still for a moment."

"Of course, Doctor. Anything else?"

"Get him some water. He needs to hydrate, seeing as all he's had in his system for the past 10 hours is whiskey."

Kirk heard Bones head out of the sickbay, and then the cool sound of running water. Only then did he notice how dry his mouth was. The water shut off and the footsteps approached him. He tried opening his eyes again, but the whiteness of the room was still too much for his headache to handle.

"I'm sorry Captain, do you think it would be ok if I sat you up? I'd keep you lying flat but you'd get water all over yourself." the voice said. He nodded, hoping that after drinking some water, perhaps he could open his eyes. The Captain knew he had heard that gentle voice before. Perhaps not on a daily basis, but enough so that it was familiar to him. No names came to mind.

The bed slowly tilted up, and Kirk put his hand to his forehead, which throbbed as the blood rushed out of it, downwards. A hand took his, small and soft, and guided his fingers around the glass.

"Thank you." he said as he brought the glass to his lips. He drank slowly, allowing the cool water to run down his dry throat and refresh him. After he felt hydrated enough, he held the glass out to the room, and waited for the hands to take it once again. Once he was relieved, he decided it was time to ask questions. Eyes still closed, he turned to face where he thought his caretaker was sitting.

"Are we st-"

"Over here, Captain." the voice interrupted. He turned a little more to his left.

"Better?"

"Yes."

"Ok…" Kirk started again, trying to make sure his head was still. "Are we still at warp, or have we arrived at our destination?" Kirk heard a giggle.

"We're still at warp, Captain, with about 25 hours to go before we arrive. Don't worry, you haven't missed much."

He frowned, embarrassed over his next question, but found it necessary to ask.

"I know I should know this, but it seems to have slipped my mind. Where is it that we are headed and why?" he sighed.

"We're en route to an unnamed planet within the alpha quadrant. From what I've heard, the reason we're paying it a visit is because there is evidence that the planet sustains life, possibly even intelligent life-forms to an extent, and Spock in particular wanted to investigate it. I wouldn't trust me, though. I'm just a nurse. Usually I'm not told about our missions to the fullest extent beforehand. I just learn about them from the patients I always have to take care of afterwards."

Even once he knew her position on board his ship, Kirk didn't know who he was with. This flustered him immensely, along with the fact that he was alone with a woman and hadn't made (or wanted to make, for that matter) any advances, even though he couldn't open his eyes. The fact that he couldn't see a woman usually didn't stop him as long as everything else seemed right. Being out of character made him feel like a fish out of water, and he didn't handle that feeling too well. He heard the nurse clear her throat.

"Are you feeling well, Captain?" she asked. His expression of frustration must have come across as discomfort to her. Kirk shook his head.

"No, sorry, I'm fine… call me Jim." he said.

"Ok… Jim. Are you sure?"

He didn't want to elaborate any further. All that he currently wanted to do was figure out who it was that he was speaking to. Who had Bones left him with? The Captain decided that he would have to talk to him later about leaving him with someone without telling him who it was. That damn voice was so familiar…

"May I have your name? I'm sorry but I'm not able to open my eyes to find out who you are." he said a bit too apologetically for his taste, but he figured it would have to do.

"You really need to get to know your crew better." she scoffed. "I'm nurse Chapel, but I guess Christine will do if I'm calling you Jim."

_Goddamn._ Kirk thought. _Why the hell do I know her voice so well if I don't know who the hell she is? _

He racked his brain for her name, but he had never heard it before. Not on his ship. This was driving him crazy. Who was she? Kirk decided to try to open his eyes; he couldn't stand the frustration any longer. He opened them slightly, but was only able to make out a figure in blue. After five seconds he had to shut them again. It was too damn bright and the pain in his head increased significantly within that short period of time.

He groaned, not so much out of pain as out of sheer annoyance, but Christine couldn't sense the latter. He heard her get up and move around.

"There." he heard her say from across the room. "Try now. Is that better?"

He opened his eyes slightly to find that the room was darker. He assumed that she had dimmed the lights some. The good old Kirk he knew would have characteristically grinned in this situation, but currently, no sexual feelings came to mind.

"Let your eyes adjust and it will hurt less." she said. "Once you think you're ready, I can turn up the lights again and see how you feel."

He obeyed, lying back against the headrest, keeping his eyes on her blurred figure. He watched in fuzzy shades of grey as she busied herself with some medical equipment at the foot of his bed. As the minutes passed they were both quiet, and his vision became sharper and his headache more bearable by the second. He wouldn't go so far as to say that the pain was gone, simply that he was becoming accustomed to it. This would have to do. He could see everything in the room clearly now, but they were all dark shapes, including Christine.

"I think I'm ready for the lights." Kirk said to her. He saw the shadow nod, then move to the opposite end of the room. She increased the brightness very, very slowly, for which Kirk was grateful as he watched colour invade her shadowed figure. All he needed her to do was to turn around, seeing as she was facing the panel, away from him.

The brightness continued to rise, and soon the sickbay was back to its immaculately white gleam. His headache was coincidently back at full force, but he ignored the pain as he eyed the nurse impatiently.

"How are you feeling?" she asked once the lights were fully restored, and turned to face him.

The Captain was ready to answer, until his eyes met her clear blue ones for the second time today, and the feeling of suffocation overwhelmed him again. He opened his mouth in an attempt, but no sound came out.

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**A/N: _So I originally wanted to post chapters 3 and 4 at the same time, but I figured that this one was long enough and I had left you in suspense last time... and have left you in suspense again. haha my sincerest apologies, it's not like I enjoy torturing you... *evil grin*. I just realized that so far the story could still go any number of ways, so who knows? I do :p You will just have to wait and imagine up the possibilities until my next post. _**

_**I am halfway through chapter 4, and I guess I can tease you with the title: "Hit and Run". (I just spent 10 minutes coming up with the title for you guys) I will try to post it ASAP, but I have another essay I should be writing, and so far I'm missing a couple of thousand words on that one and have surpassed what the word limit would be in this fic... ah I adore my lack of sense of priority. **_

**_Please keep the reviews coming!!! They make me extremely happy and motivate me to get the chapters done and done well! Thanks for the support so far :)_**


	4. Hit and Run

**A/N: _So I'm not exactly one full chap in advance like i wanted to be, but I really wanted to update so I'm breaking my rule. Cure my lack of will power. I also apologize for promising that romance would ensue after chapter two and it still hasn't... haha I just realized that the story would end up too much like quick fix, which is not what I want it to be, and your theories will be confirmed soon enough :) I like hearing them! It's really interesting. Thanks for the reviews so far._**

**_~FOR FUN~ in chapter's four and five I have hidden two non Star Trek related easter eggs referring to two great films. Whoever can point them out in a review (aka quote it and say what film they're from) will receive my eternal love :) EXCEPT FOR NOLETA. You are NOT allowed to guess on my review. Just tell me in person. lol_**

**I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

* * *

**4. Hit and Run**

Doctor McCoy stepped out of the turbolift and onto the bridge. As much as he hated to admit it, Spock had the bridge crew organized at their posts, and everything seemed to be in perfect order. He had done a good job keeping everyone in order over the past two hours, and McCoy was sure that he would be able to take command and run everything smoothly until their Captain felt fully recovered. He studied the bridge crew working at their posts, keeping the enterprise on course, until Spock called for his attention. He walked over to the Vulcan standing next to the Captain's chair.

"What, Spock, are you not going to sit in it?" Bones prodded as he tossed his head in the direction of the chair. "That's what it's there for."

"I do not believe that I have the authority to sit in the Captain's chair, under the circumstance that I am not the captain of this ship, Doctor." Spock stated bluntly before continuing. "That is the very matter for which I have called you to the bridge, if you did not already assume so. How is our Captain?" he asked.

"He woke up about five minutes before you called me up. His vitals are all normal, but a combined effect of heavy drinking and lack of oxygen has left him with a pretty harsh headache." McCoy informed the First Officer. "He also seems to be suffering from some light sensitivity and opening his eyes causes him discomfort." he threw in.

"No doubt also due to his extensive intake of alcohol and oxygen deprivation." Spock chimed in.

"The worst possible hangover you could ever imagine having to experience." Bones joked.

"I'm sorry, Doctor, but I am unable to sympathize due to the fact that, although Vulcans and Humans do share a similar physiology, the after effects of excessive alcohol intake that you refer to as 'a hangover' is very different between our species." he informed the Doctor. McCoy cursed under his breath.

"Do tell."

"Doctor McCoy, I'd like to inform you that although the use of sarcasm is nonexistent in Vulcan culture, we are very aware of its use." he scolded. "Now, because you were so interested…" Bones rolled his eyes, unable to believe that a Vulcan was about to give him a lesson in biology. That was unacceptable. "… the side-effects of a Vulcan 'hangover' consist of a feeling of nausea along with joint pain."

"Thanks for letting me know." the Doctor grumbled. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Is there anything else of importance that I should know about our Captain?" he asked.

"Nothing you don't already know…" Bones said with a tone that Spock wasn't sure whether to interpret it as frustration or worry. He had to admit that out of the many humans he had become closely acquainted with, this doctor was particularly hard to read.

"Then you are dismissed. Thank you Doctor. I only request that you keep me updated on his condition until he has fully recovered."

McCoy nodded and turned to leave the bridge when he noticed Chekov staring at him, his worried eyes exposing each and every one of his thoughts. He went over to the ensign and put a hand on his shoulder.

"How is he, docter?" Chekov asked.

"He just woke up, and he should be back on duty before we arrive. Don't worry Pavel." he soothed the best he knew how. _Damnit, I'm no good at this._ Bones thought. "If you want you can pay him a visit later."

Chekov tightened his lips, unable to hide his worry, and nodded quickly. McCoy's words were just beginning to calm him until Nurse Chapel's anxious voice rang through the bridge.

"Doctor McCoy, I need your assistance in the sickbay. There's a slight problem."

At her words, the entire bridge crew looked at the Doctor questioningly, and he bolted for the turbolift without hesitation.

* * *

Kirk kept his eyes off of Christine, and turned his head awkwardly to the side in order to avoid doing so. She obviously triggered an unfamiliar, and what Kirk considered to be horrifying, response in him. His head spun, his heart raced, and he didn't seem able to keep any air in his lungs. He cursed under his breath, realizing that there were only a few hours left until they arrived and he had to be well by then or else Bones would not discharge him, no matter how much he whined. Either way, the Captain wanted to be cured of whatever it was that he had. Through his spinning thoughts he heard the sickbay doors slide open.

"Nurse Chapel, what the hell happened?" he heard his friend say gruffly. Kirk looked up to find him standing next to the nurse and tried to smile, but it came out more as a wince. McCoy rushed over.

"Jesus, Jim, you're sweating like a pig." he muttered as he waved his medical tricorder around him. "Your heart rate is too high for a man who's been lying down all day…"

"Bones, I feel fine." Kirk said as convincingly as he could through gritted teeth. His eyes felt fine, and his headache was gone, but this suffocated feeling put him at a huge disadvantage when it came to lying to his friend. "Just give me a sedative or something to calm me down."

The Doctor looked as his friend begrudgingly and weighed his options, before sighing a little too dramatically as he always did. Kirk would usually give him lip for it, but right now his mind was racing towards nothing it seemed, and his thoughts drowned out his friends expression of frustration.

"Well I don't see what else I can do, and we need you well for when we arrive." McCoy thought the process out loud. "Nurse, get a weak sedative for the Captain please."

He felt Kirk's hand contract strongly around his wrist as he placed his request to Christine. McCoy looked down at his friend with a warning expression.

"Not her. I don't want her to touch me, Bones. You give me the hypospray." he whispered urgently.

"Damnit, Jim, this is no time for your sexist ideas. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she can't inject a damn hypospray!" he whispered harshly back. Kirk slapped his forehead with his palm.

"No, no, it's not that. Could you just give it to me, Bones?" he begged. "…Please?" he threw in after a slight hesitation. He noticed how his friends angry expression softened at the "the word" and made a mental note to use it more often.

Nurse Chapel approached the side of the bed, more than ready to inject the hypospray, but Doctor McCoy took it from her.

"Thank you." he muttered. She glared at him, confused.

He decided to act oblivious to her quiet demand for an explanation and injected his friend with the sedative.

"Ow! I'm sure there's a better way for you to administer a hypospray, Bones. Seriously… do you look for excuses to hurt me?" Kirk said through clenched teeth, his eyebrows furrowed due to the stinging in his neck. He looked up at his friend almost pitifully, a hand rubbing the left side of his neck.

"Only every minute of my life." he replied sarcastically. "Besides, you asked for it." he added with a childishly accusing tone.

Nurse Chapel watched them, bewildered by their conversation. She had never imagined that she would ever hear a captain and his chief medical officer conversing so casually while on duty, but then again, from what she had heard about her Captain, rules were not his forte. Neither was protocol. She shrugged it off. This was her first time interacting with James T. Kirk, and she had already labeled him as strange. Yes, it was quite possible that the cause for his behaviour was his current ailment, whatever exactly it was, but for now she figured that she would avoid any unnecessary interaction with him.

_He sure doesn't live up to his reputation as suave._ She thought. At first she laughed inwardly, wondering why so many women swooned at a simple glance, but the more she pondered it, the more self-conscious she became. James Kirk wasn't famous for being picky when it came to women, but he did have some sort of standard. Was she not good enough to deserve as little as a cocky smile from him? Christine was usually very aware that men were attracted to her, but it wasn't usually of any importance to her. She didn't want to bother with courtships at the moment, so why was she worrying over the opinion of one guy? She reminded herself that whatever he had had affected him mentally, but that still wasn't enough to calm her nerves. She shook the thought.

"Nurse Chapel!"

The Doctor's voice shook her from her trance.

"Are you done frowning at the wall?" he asked. She didn't take his tone offensively. She had been so deeply concerned about herself that she didn't notice that Kirk was now standing next to McCoy, getting ready to leave the sickbay.

"I'm sorry, Doctor." she said in a rush. He nodded, and then turned to Kirk.

"Alright, Jim, you're good to go back to the bridge."

"Thanks, Bones." he said, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder.

"Now pay attention…" Bones spoke to him as if he were speaking to a child. Nurse Chapel saw Kirk roll his eyes, probably to counteract the patronizing tone. "… the sedative should wear off in about two hours. You let me know if you start to get these symptoms after that and I'll gave you another hypospray."

Kirk stood in the entrance of the sickbay, then turned on his heel and bowed rather dramatically.

"As you wish." he said with a grin. Then he headed back to the bridge, feeling better than ever. Bones shook his head.

"What is it, Doctor McCoy?" Christine asked curiously.

"We should probably pay a few visits to the bridge over the next few hours." he said thoughtfully. Christine nodded before once again busying herself with some medical supplies.

* * *

**A/N: _Review please :) Hope you enjoyed, lemme know if I'm doing well._**

**"Is there anything else I can do for you, Captain?"**

** "I told you to call me Jim." he replied in a stern voice.**

**"Regretfully, I must decline your offer while on duty, **_**Captain**_**."**


	5. Don't Blame the Lack of Oxygen

**A/N: _So here's an update! I felt bad that the last chapter was so short so I wanted to get this chapter up sooner and it ended up being really long. Over 5,000 words. Now that wasn't my original plan, but I couldn't find a good stopping point and I kept tweaking it and yeah it ended up being really long. So plenty to read :) I also had no idea how hard it is to have more than three or four characters actively in a room at once. Balancing an entire crew is difficult, so I tried my hardest. Please let me know if I managed to mess it up somehow. I wouldn't be surprised... haha_**

**_There's an easter egg in this chapter as well, if you find it post a review quoting it and the film it's from to receive my eternal love! lol (once again, Noleta you cannot post your answer, just tell me). _**

**_Although no one guessed the film, Pure Shikon was able to single out the quote from the previous chapter, so a lot of love that way 3 _**

**_So read and enjoy! I'm glad you've liked it so far!_**

**I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

* * *

**5. Don't Blame the Lack of Oxygen**

Kirk stepped off the turbolift brimming with confidence. He didn't say a single word as he made his way across the bridge and took a seat in his chair. Spock had watched him march in with interest, while Uhura scoffed at his behaviour. He turned his chair so that he was facing the Communications Officer.

"It's nice to know that you're enthused to have your captain back, Lt. Uhura." he said in the tone that would most likely get on her nerves. Uhura rolled her eyes, but before she was able to give him a rude reply, there was a sudden movement behind him that distracted her. She was looking directly above his head, so he turned his chair back around the face the front. There, he saw Chekov standing on top of his chair, his hand against his forehead in a salute.

"Oh Keptin, my Keptin!" the ensign shouted with a smile. Sulu stared up at him, bewildered, as did several other crewmembers. The odd chuckle of delight was scattered evenly amongst them as well.

"Now that's the enthusiasm I'm talking about!" he said to the entire bridge as he clapped with amusement, then he turned to face Uhura once again. "You should take a lesson on how to greet your beloved Captain from ensign Chekov, Lt." If there was one thing that Kirk enjoyed doing, it was pushing Nyota Uhura's patience. It was a different form of teasing that he had become quite fond of over the past year, due to the lack of his favourite form of the word. Yes, when he had first met her, it was flirtation; but now with his current and abnormal state of mind, and considering the fact that she was property of Spock, it had only been used as means to get a reaction out of her. She glared at him, unsure of how to respond to his arrogant remarks, so she figured that her expression and fiery eyes would have to do the talking for the moment. Kirk nodded and turned his chair once again to find Chekov still stood on his chair in salute.

"As you were, Pavel." he said with a wink. Chekov grinned and hopped back onto the ground to man his station at the helm once again. The Captain looked at the digitalized timer displayed on the front window of the bridge. _Two hours left._

His current mood was a very nice change to what he had experienced in his quarters as well as in the sickbay. The cause had not yet been determined, therefore he still found himself unable to behave "ideally", but this would do until that problem was fixed. Whatever the hell the problem was.

"Captain," Spock called out from behind him. "Permission to speak freely?"

"Of course." Kirk cooed. Spock raised an eyebrow in an attempt to process his tone before continuing.

"I do not believe that it is appropriate for you to promote this type of behaviour while on duty." he urged. "Perhaps you should reconsider what social etiquette you allow on the bridge." At this, Kirk stared at his First Officer blankly, and then clicked his tongue.

"You see, Spock, this is why I'd feel bad for my bridge crew if I died." he said sadly.

"I am not sure I wish for you to explain what your intentions with that comment were." Spock stated. Kirk had known him long enough to be able to see the worry in his eyes that anyone other than Uhura might have missed.

"I don't mean it like that, Spock. You'd make an excellent captain, Bones told me how well you had everyone organized while I was in the sickbay."

"May I request an explanation then, Captain?"

"The kid was just having some fun. I meant that you'd be too worried about appropriate 'social etiquette' to allow the crew to relax a little. A little fun doesn't disturb anything, and I think it can be allowed when they have all worked so hard. After all, I am the Captain. They listen to my orders."

Spock frowned in thought, the way he always does as he breaks down Kirk's arguments, searching for logical fallacies.

"Unfortunately, your logic is sound." he said calmly. Spock stood next to the Captain for a few moments.

"_Unfortunately" _Kirk imitated sarcastically. He sensed a slight hesitation in his friend before the Vulcan finally spoke.

"May I ask you a personal query?" he asked in a hushed tone. Kirk nodded. "What exactly triggered your panic attack last night, and the relapse this afternoon?"

"I have no idea." he answered, doing his best to hide the true worry from his voice. The Captain restrained from discussing the problem any further. He felt fine for the moment and didn't want a simple conversation to remind him of that feeling of suffocation for the third time today. His friend sensed this, and simply blinked at him.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Captain?"

"I told you to call me Jim, Spock." he replied in a stern voice.

"Regretfully, I must decline your offer while on duty, _Captain_."

"You'll warm up to the idea." Kirk said in a low voice. "Now, as for what you could do for me… do you care to explain what exactly it is that you intend to do on this planet?"

"Certainly." Spock said with a nod. "From our scans, it has been made evident to us that this planet's atmosphere is similar to that of planet earth. The only difference is that there are higher levels of nitrogen, and vice versa, lower levels of oxygen..."

Kirk nodded blankly, hoping that Spock would skip the boring part of the explanation.

"Yes, yes… it's a class M planet. Aren't they all? Something about possible intelligent life on this planet was reported to me earlier." he interrupted. "Is this true?"

"It is a possibility." Spock hesitantly replied, searching for the proper way to word his next sentence. He knew his friend was excitable, and didn't want him to be let down if there wasn't anything beyond a few amoebas. "Keep in mind, Captain, that although the environment seems able to sustain such life forms, none may be as evolved as you hope."

"Alright, Spock. Be a joy kill." Kirk muttered, turning away from the First Officer. He sulked in his chair, twisting his face into a pitiful expression in order to express his dismay. Although he was extremely focused on keeping his sadness as genuine as was humanly possible, he was also listening intently, expecting something from Spock. Still facing opposite of him, he heard his friend give an almost inaudible exasperated sigh and then walk away. Kirk ginned, pleased by his ability to provoke an emotional response from the Vulcan, and then turned once again to face the helm.

"Sulu, what's our status?" Kirk ventured hopefully.

"All systems are in fine working order, we're on course and conditions couldn't be more desirable." the helmsman informed him.

"Oh." Kirk was feeling restless. He hated warping long distances on missions such as these where there was absolutely _nothing_ to do but wait until they arrived. A twinge of guilt filled the pit of his stomach as he caught himself hoping for a system failure to make this journey a bit more interesting. _Being captain of this ship really makes what usually would be exciting events unbearably dull. _He remembered his first time experiencing warp speed on this very ship. It had been so exciting that he felt as if his heart was about to burst from his chest… or maybe that feeling was induced by a record high fever and heart rate due to the virus that Bones injected him with in order to sneak him onto the flagship. Kirk sighed, disappointed by his recollection. _Maybe an emergency transmission fro Starfleet command?_ he thought with wide eyes, but didn't even bother looking at Uhura. He knew all too well that if she received anything of the sort she's make a huge scene and he'd be the first to know.

He looked up at the digitalized timer with anticipation. _Forty-five minutes. _He groaned inwardly. _This planet better be interesting as hell._

* * *

"Hmmmm"

The Doctor's sudden sound caused Christine to look up from her patient's log at him.

"What is it, Doctor?" she asked. He looked up from his watch.

"There's just under an hour left before we arrive. I thought that maybe we should check on Jim beforehand so that we can make sure that he's good to go." he suggested in a thoughtful voice. Christine wasn't sure whether to answer in fear of that it was simply a thought he stated aloud. So she just nodded. If she was supposed to answer, McCoy would take note of her response; if not, then he wouldn't think anything about it.

"Alright then, you grab some of the same sedatives just in case and we'll head on up." he said as he stood up, smoothing the wrinkles in his blue Starfleet sweater with his hands. Christine gathered the sedative and the hypospray, and then stood beside McCoy. He hadn't noticed that she was ready to go, seemingly too intrigued by his blue uniform. She cleared her throat.

"Oh!" he gasped, embarrassed. "Sorry. Let's go then."

They left for the turbolift in silence, and Christine could only wonder as to why the Doctor was so distracted. Throughout their entire walk not a word was said, Bones left to his musings, and Christine left to her musings about Bones' musings. This gave her a headache. Luckily, they were approaching the turbolift. Nurse Chapel decided to come up with _something_ to break the silence. Any simple question that would last them the quick ride up to the bridge of the Enterprise.

"How much time do we have before we arrive?" she asked the Doctor. He glanced at his watch.

"About forty-five minutes if I'm right." He guestimated as the doors of the turbolift opened to reveal the sleek bridge, and the timer displaying a remaining time of forty-four minutes.

"Ah." Bones laughed as he stepped off. "Only a minute off." Christine giggled, still a little confused but amused by his distracted state. As irony would have it, the moment she processed the thought, he snapped out of it.

"Jim!" he shouted, causing the entire crew, including their Captain, to turn facing them.

Kirk's head snapped around at the sound of Bones' voice. His Chief Medical Officer was marching towards him with purpose.

"Did you miss me?" he joked. "I knew you couldn't stay away for long."

"Whatever you say Jim. How are you feeling?" he asked as he looked around. All eyes were on them. This usually wouldn't be the case, but because no one seemed to be actively working their post, but simply watching the timer run down it's last hour second by second, he didn't expect much less from the bridge crew.

"I'm feeling fine." Kirk said. "Never been better" he decided to top off the comment with a grin.

"Alright, we'll see what the tricorder has to say about that." Bones muttered as he felt around in his pockets. Obviously he had no such luck. Frustrated, he looked back over his shoulder. Intrigued by who or what his friend was looking for, he looked towards the turbolift as well to find Christine Chapel standing against the wall watching them. Almost instantly, he snapped his head forward again as he felt his heart rate increase. He hadn't anticipated her coming on board the bridge, seeing as she was only a nurse.

"Nurse Chapel!" he barked at her from across the space. "Do you mind running the scan? I think I left my tricorder in the sickbay."

Kirk tried to calm his nerve. If the his body temperature or heart rate readings were slightly off, Bones wouldn't give him leave to go onto the planet's surface, and they had almost arrived. He was going to have to figure out what this problem was soon, lest he'd rather deal with the undesirable reaction she caused him to have.

"Of course." he heard her say as her footsteps approached. He felt the space tightening around him. _Calm. Down. Kirk. _He scolded himself. At this rate, he estimated he would be stuck in sickbay for another five hours, which was unacceptable. Once she was stood in front of the Captain, he had managed to calm down and keep himself that way by not acknowledging her presence. As Christine took out the tricorder, Kirk even intended to strike up a conversation with McCoy to ensure that he was not caused any negative reactions by the Nurse's presence whatsoever, but even though he re fused to look at her, as she bent over him to take the reading, her scent filled his nose and he choked on it, coughing and spluttering pitifully. Christine frowned, reading the scan results. _Unfuckingbelieveable, even her smell makes me sick_. He thought to himself before turning to Bones.

"Sorry, I breathed in some dust." he said to the Doctor, accompanied by the best apologetic face he could muster. "Could we try that again?"

He held his breath and kept his eyes on the floor, trying to convince himself that Christine Chapel was not on his bridge, but that she was in fact in the sickbay waiting on Bones who was performing the scan because he had not forgotten his tricorder in the first place. Completely ignoring her helped calm him down considerably, and made him feel better as well.

"He's as normal as he could currently be, Doctor." she informed McCoy, who "hmph"ed suspiciously.

"I guess you're all better, Jim, whatever the hell it was."

"Thanks for checking up on me, Bones." he said, giving Christine a view of the back of his head. Kirk refused to have a panic attack on duty for all his crew to witness. Bones frowned.

"Alright…" he was still a little skeptical about his friend's behaviour, but if his readings were normal there wasn't much he could do. He was, in fact, a doctor, not a psychologist, and had no opinion when it came to a person's mentality. McCoy sighed at the thought. "Is there anything you need Nurse Chapel and me to do before we go back to the sickbay?"

Kirk was about to give the Doctor leave when, mid headshake, Spock spoke.

"Actually, Doctor, I could use your medical opinion about our mission." he interrupted. Bones walked over to the First Officer, leaving Christine standing next to Kirk, who continued to deny her presence to himself. He noticed Uhura watching them, looking puzzled, before she waved Christine over. He relaxed as she walked away, and continued on as if she had never been near him. Now he just needed a distraction.

"Chekov." he said, grabbing the ensign's attention. He turned to face the Captain.

"Aye, keptin?"

"You busy?" Kirk was desperate to have something to do for the last thirty minutes of their journey. Chekov took a glance at the screens on his station before turning to face Kirk with a satisfied smile.

"No, sir. Everything is in perfect vorking order. I hev a little bit of time."

"Well, Pasch, in that case…" Kirk leaned forward in his captain's chair, in order to be within whispering distance of the ensign. "Care to answer my question from last night? I seem to recall seeing you cuddled up with a young cadet in rec room five a week ago." Kirk said almost too eagerly. Chekov's pale complexion was invaded by a deep blush. He laughed nervously.

"Ahah, well, Keptin, if you must know…"

* * *

Uhura restrained from hugging her friend, knowing that is was is wasn't professional to do so, but let her know how happy she was to see her with a smile that Christine returned.

"You really hyped it up, didn't you Nyota?" she accused her playfully. Uhura didn't seem to understand.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well… the 'farm boy' of course!" she whispered, making sure that Kirk would'nt hear. "All that stuff you told me about his arrogance, and what a pig he was… and how he'd hump anything that looks feminine enough for his standards." she giggled at the thought.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, still looking thoroughly confused. "That's _exactly_ what he's like, with almost every girl he comes into contact with."

"Well, for the past few hours, he's been the most nervous wreck of a person that I've ever seen." Christine informed her friend.

"I've noticed…" Uhura said, deep in thought. She looked over at the Captain, who now looked perfectly normal, obviously having an intense conversation with Chekov. They were both laughing. As she wondered what they could be talking about, Christine tapped her on the shoulder.

"I've got to go to Doctor McCoy," she said, pointing in his general direction with her chin. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah." she answered, still distracted by her theories about Captain James T. Kirk.

* * *

Bones moved to the side to include Christine in their conversation.

"Nurse, we were just discussing how this planet's atmosphere may affect the crew. Doctor McCoy and I wanted to hear your opinion before prepping them." Spock said.

Christine nodded, but couldn't help but to wonder why he was asking for a nurse's opinion on the matter when he already had a doctor's. She was afraid that the question would come across as rude, but was desperate to know.

"Of course, but may I ask why you would like to hear my opinion when you already have Doctor McCoy's?"

"You're coming with me to care for the landing party as they investigate the planet's surface." McCoy informed her. "I might need some back up."

Christine gaped, unable to believe that she was going to be part of an actual landing party. She had been on the ship for almost a year now and had never been asked to take her line of duty outside of the sickbay, except for the occasional emergency in the lower engineering deck of the ship that left one of the engineers immobile. She had never even left the U.S.S. Enterprise for any reason besides a short shore leave. Now, she was having some trouble processing this request, but hid her surprise from them.

"What are the conditions on the unknown planet?" she asked, doing her best to keep a calm air of professionalism about her.

"It is a class M planet, which in most situations would not require much medical preparation, but the oxygen levels are extremely low. From the information that has been gathered so far, the planet's atmosphere is composed of eighty-eight percent nitrogen gas and a mere ten percent of oxygen gas. The remaining two percent is a variety of gasses."

The Nurse marveled at Spock's ability to state facts as if he had a textbook in front of him.

"The circumstances imply that, while it is enough oxygen to support the human body, it is pushing the limits of what your species can sustain. How would you face this problem?"

Christine furrowed her eyebrows in thought, her mind grasping onto each bit of information she could remember from her studies.

"Such low levels of oxygen can make one lethargic, and slows brain activity, so I'd bring the standard medical kit to treat any injuries sustained as a result. That way, if any life-threatening injuries occur, we could patch the patient up to a stable condition before transporting them to the sickbay for further treatment." she paused, glancing at Bones and Spock to check for any disapproval in their faces. Once satisfied that neither had any objections so far, she continued. "Now, I am aware that because this planet's atmosphere contains a high enough percentage of oxygen to support the human body, it would be wasteful to use our supplies of oxygen, but in order to avoid injuries caused by lethargy, I suggest that we bring a few small supplies of oxygen masks to give to a crewmember if we notice that they've become too drowsy and may be put at risk. Basically, to wake their brain up, but only in emergency cases, as a sort of prevention."

Spock raised an eyebrow and turned to Bones. She anxiously waited for them to comment.

"I suggested something similar with regards to the standard kit, but I hadn't thought about bringing oxygen masks. If Spock approves, I think it would be a good idea to have a few on hand, even for us. If we're too light headed, we may not be able to tend to any emergency medical situations. Good idea, Chapel." McCoy said with an acknowledging nod to Christine. "What do you think, Spock?"

"I think it is very logical."

"Of course." Bones groaned as he rolled his eyes. The Vulcan's diction almost always pushed a button or two when it came to the Doctor.

"I'll ask the Captain to organize the landing party in order for you to notify them of the conditions of this mission before you return to the Medical Bay to prepare your supplies. Being half Vulcan, I should cope with the lack of oxygen better since the atmosphere of my home planet was thinner than Earth's." With that, Spock set off to break-up Kirk and Chekov, who were still conversing intensely, the ensign only breaking the flow of their discussion at random intervals to glance at the screens behind him in order to ensure that everything was functioning properly.

"I'm sorry for throwing this mission on you." Bones said in what Christine assumed was close to his compassionate tone. "I wasn't informed until now about the size of the crew involved or the conditions of the planet. We're in the same boat here."

"It's not a problem." Christine reassured him, still finding it a little difficult to keep her composure. She was experiencing conflicting waves of excitement and anxiety, which in turn only scrambled her thoughts more. She felt a sense of pride at the fact that she handled expressing her medical opinion so well.

They didn't have to wait long before the landing party was assembled before them. Because it was Spock's personal interest that was the main reason for the mission, he selected the crewmembers that were to participate, each serving a specific purpose. Christine looked over the group; easily able to label each person to the task she assumed Spock had in mind. McCoy's and her roles were self-explanatory. There was Spock himself, in charge of the scientific aspect of the expedition, surrounded by three blue-shirted cadets also involved in the science department here on the Enterprise. Christine knew two of them very well, having treated them twelve times this year for severe chemical burns until Bones suggested to Spock that they worked in ecological sciences instead of chemical, but she had never seen the third cadet onboard before. She looked very young, barely seventeen, and was very pretty, her tan skin and dark eyes contrasting with the blue of her uniform. Then there was Uhura, who Christine assumed was assigned to the mission incase they came into contact with any intelligent life in order to increase chances of communication. Finally there was the Captain, who, due to the fact that this was a scientific mission, would simply be observing and giving the landing party the commands that Spock requested.

Christine looked over the group one more time in order to ensure that she hadn't missed a single face and noticed Chekov standing amongst them. She racked her brain, but was unable to find a task for the ensign. Spock seemed to have noticed this as well.

"Captain, with all due respect, I do not recall requesting ensigns Chekov's participation on this mission."

"You didn't." Kirk said calmly, blowing the observation off. Spock looked at him questioningly. "Chekov was _very_ interested in the mission, and, as Captain, I figured that since the mission itself is interest based…" he said, singling out Spock with his eyes, "…that Pavel is more than qualified to participate."

The First Officer eyed the ensign, who wore a hopeful expression.

"Doesn't the ensign have duties to perform on the ship?" Spock asked.

"Now Spock," Kirk scolded. "I'm surprised you haven't hurt his feelings by being so unwilling to take him with us. Besides, I think Sulu is quite capable of taking complete control of the helm of a stationary vessel. Isn't that right?"

"Aye, Captain!" Sulu shouted from his post. Kirk looked at his friend defiantly.

Spock still looked unsure of the request, but was unable to find an argument against it. He then faced Chekov.

"Ensign Chekov, what are your intentions on the mission?" Spock asked him. It sounded more like a demand than a request.

"I hev always been curious about vat it is zat zee scientific area of Starfleet focuses on. I figured zat a mission like zis one vould be a good opportunity for obserwation."

Spock said nothing and turned to face the medical staff, which was a sign of his acceptance.

"Alright!" Bones shouted as he noticed Spock's signal for him to begin. His gruff voice captured everyone's attention quickly. "Here's the deal, the planet's atmosphere is only ten percent oxygen, which can seriously impede your ability to function properly, therefore, along with the standard medical kit, we will have oxygen masks on hand for emergency situations."

"_We_?" Kirk asked. His question was more for himself than Bones, but his friend answered regardless.

"Nurse Chapel and I." he said, before continuing. Kirk's expression changed from one of content to anxiety. "If any of you feel like you are seriously affected by the lack of oxygen, find one of us and we will provide you with a mask temporarily, to 'reboot' your brain. Other than that, it's standard class M planet medical precautionary procedure. Any questions?"

Everyone seemed to understand the situation, which made Christine calm down some. That way there was less chance of injury.

"Well then, Nurse Chapel and I will go prepare our supplies. I think that Spock here would like for you all to prepare yourselves as well seeing as you've only got twenty minutes left." Spock acknowledged McCoy's suggestion.

"Thank you Doctor, unless the Captain has any requests for you, I believe that you are free to go. Captain?"

"No. They can go prep." Kirk said to the ceiling.

Bones looked at his friend skeptically one last time before taking off for the sickbay with Chapel. Once they were both in the turbolift, he sighed loudly. Christine took it as a hint to ask him what was frustrating him.

"What's wrong, Doctor?"

"It's Jim. I'm worried about him. I'm not sure he'll handle the lower oxygen levels too well with his condition. Damn I wish I knew what he had so I could treat him already!" Christine felt sympathy for him.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." she reassured as best as she could.

"Jim carries himself well, there's no doubt about that, but can you promise me something, Christine?" Bones asked, lowering his eyes to meet hers. She was shocked that he had called her by her first name, and the genuine worry in his expression also put her brain on stand by. It was a strange side of her co-worker that she hadn't seen in the entire year she had been aboard.

"Of course, Doctor McCoy, anything."

"If there's an emergency that I have to attend to, promise me you'll keep an eye on Jim for me, and make sure he's ok?" he pleaded. Christine didn't want to have anything to do with Kirk's strange antics, to be honest, his inability to function normally made her wonder how he managed to become Captain of the Enterprise and annoyed her, but the fact that McCoy was so worried that he had expressed himself to her overruled her personal preferences.

"Don't worry, I'll do my best." she soothed, rubbing a hand on his shoulder. She didn't like seeing McCoy in this state. It was unfamiliar and strange, so she wanted to ensure that he was back to his snarky self as soon as possible.

* * *

Kirk had turned to return to his chair, but was stopped by a hand that gripped his arm.

"Captain." He recognized Uhura's voice. "Could I speak with you for a moment?"

"With regards to…?" he said with a grin as he watched her become flustered. She was tired of his games, and decided to be as blunt as possible with him. If her theory was correct, then it would kill his ego for at least the moment.

"With regards to Christine Chapel." she said defiantly as his grin fell.

"What about her?" There was an edge of anxiety to his voice.

"Why do you act the way you do around her? It's not like you at all, especially with a pretty girl like her." she said, raising her eyebrows expectantly. Kirk looked around to ensure that no one was within hearing range.

"She makes me sick." he whispered. The embarrassment on his voice was heavy.

"She makes you sick." Uhura repeated cynically.

"I don't know how to explain it, but she makes me react strangely. This has never happened before, so that's the only explanation I can come up with."

"Right, Kirk, whatever you say. What are your symptoms?" she prodded. The Captain laughed.

"You are my Communications Officer, _Nyota_, not my Doctor."

Uhura glared at his mention of her first name.

"I don't think you need a medical opinion, _Captain_. Now tell me your 'symptoms'." she said harshly through clenched teeth.

"Fine." Kirk said, a little annoyed. His need to end the frustration that his condition caused overpowered his dislike for discussing his problems with Uhura. "Usually, when I see her, my body temperature goes through the roof, I start sweating, my breathing becomes irregular, and, according to Bones, on some occasions I have what seems to be arrhythmias. If not, then my heart rate speeds up an unnecessary amount." he thought for a moment. "Oh, and just earlier, when I was able to smell her, I almost choked." He noticed a grin on Uhura's face. "What?" he asked annoyed by how she was teasing him.

"Before I can tell you if I'm right or not… I need to know one more thing." She waited for Kirk to egg her on. "How many women have you slept with since you first met her?"

"I don't see how that's relevant!" he hissed, trying to maintain his composure.

"Like I care. I just need to know to find out if I'm right or not. I'm sure you'd like to know what's wrong with you." she said. She was glad to be pushing his limits for once, it was a nice change, but she was also genuinely trying to help him out. _Sue me for having a little fun with my power, Captain._ The thought made her laugh.

Kirk tried to remember when he first met Christine Chapel. He wouldn't say it was when he met her, but it was when he first noticed her. It was his first day onboard the U.S.S. Enterprise as it's Captain, and he was in the sickbay frustrating Bones as was their routine while his friend conducted the checkup that was protocol for new captains. Out of the corner of his eye he saw what he assumed to be a nurse typing some information into the database. As Bones continued to lecture him about how to take a hypospray like a man, Kirk kept an eye on the nurse, intrigued. The moment she turned around and he saw her crystalline eyes, he felt his stomach twist itself into a knot, and he jumped uncomfortably. That was only a week after the Romulan attack, and Kirk was sure that he hadn't had any interaction with a woman beyond what was considered friendly since after the attack. Either way, he didn't see how this was relevant, seeing as he didn't even know who she was until this morning. As he explained this to Uhura, her grin widened.

"And I'm assuming you haven't explained any of this to Doctor McCoy?"

"Of course not. It's not relevant." Kirk insisted. He scowled as Uhura started to laugh. "Will you tell my already?"

"You like her! That's your big problem." she said as best as she could in-between giggles. Kirk frowned.

"Big deal. I like a lot of women."

"No, you lust after people." she corrected. "This is different. You _like_ Christine." she insisted with a grin. "I don't think that you've ever legitimately liked someone before."

"I really don't see the difference between like and _like_." Kirk sounded extremely frustrated.

"Knowing you, in every past case, all you've wanted is to get a woman in bed." she said suggestively. "Now, you want to take Christine out to dinner and a movie. The reason why you're reacting so badly to this crush is that you're fighting it. The physical feelings that come in pair with liking someone are really exciting, but your subconscious probably recognizes it and therefore you fight the feelings. That's probably why you're having such a bad physical reaction around her."

"Sure." Kirk said as sarcastically as possible. "Are you a psychiatrist now? How do I deal with my problem then, Doctor Uhura?" She didn't appreciate his tone, but decided to ignore it.

"Next time you're around her, relax. Allow yourself to feel what it's like to have genuine feelings for someone. Trust me, it's nice."

"Whatever you say, Doctor." he said, blowing her comment off. Uhura noticed the rest of the landing crew exiting the bridge.

"It's time for us to go to the transporter room. Just remember what I said, and if you decide to do it while we're on the mission, don't blame the light headedness you'll experience on the low levels of oxygen."

Kirk hung back for a moment on the bridge, confused by Lt. Uhura's suggestion.

* * *

**A/N: _Ok so I hope you liked it, it was much longer than the other chapters... please review!!! It makes me happy and I update more quickly! And if you found the egg just put that in the review as well :)_**

_**Also, you may have noticed the O/C, and I usually disapprove of them, but don't worry, she's only a minor character for a minor plot line, and won't take over the Star Trek franchise like I've noticed some people do with their O/Cs. She's harmless :p**_

_**I HOPE YOU ENJOYED! PLEASE REVIEW AND SHARE!**_


	6. Staring Contest

**A/N: _So my update took ages. I apologize, I've been soooooo busy writing essays and with my job and agh. An odd and rare feeling of responsibility settled over me and I just wanted to get it all done first, but I started to feel really guilty because I was taking so long, so I devoted the past two days to finishing the chapter! I must say, writing fic is a great way to motivate you to get your work done. Just convince yourself that you won't write anything until you finish all your work and you are much more productive. haha I hope that the updates start coming in their usual flow, but I start school soon so we'll see. I'll try to get these essays done beforehand so that I can start the next chapter, but no matter how long it takes me to update, I will not drop this fic! I love it too much 3 _**

**_There is another easter egg in this chapter. Write it down in a review if you find it! ALSO... a shout out to PrettyHateMachine9266 for recommending deConstruction's "Flaws and All", and excellent fic, and I will also get around to reading the sequel sometime soon :) I think everyone should give this story a shot._**

_**In conclusion, I hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry for the wait!**_

**I**** ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

* * *

**6. Staring Contest**

He was the last to arrive at the transporter room, having stood pensively in the exact spot where Uhura had left him for a few minutes, and arrived breathless after realizing that he was delaying the mission. He made quite a bit of noise as he hurriedly entered the room, and several members of the landing party looked away from their conversations to find the source. Kirk was able to recognize the worry that was on Bones' brow, as well as the self-satisfied smile, the one usually infamously plastered across _his_ face, that Uhura was now sending his way. She seemed all too pleased with herself for her discovery, and Kirk had been desperately searching for ways to disprove it. His search was unsuccessful, and he decided that it was best for him to get on with the mission on hand rather than worry himself over something that obviously wasn't true.

_She's wrong. _He thought. _I don't have crushes__. It's not in my nature, it's just not what I do. I don't know __**how**__ to like a woman. I am James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise and renown womanizer. _

As much as he tried to reassure himself, a sense of security never overcame him. His mind tuned in and out of McCoy's harsh voice explaining what reaction to expect from their bodies during the first few moments after materialization.

"…and your first breath will feel insufficient. Breathe as intensely as possible, this is not a situation where a ship is running out of oxygen and you must breathe conservatively, this is a planet-full therefore don't get yourself in that mindset. You'll need as much air as your lungs can take because…"

_I might as well give Uhura's theory a test._ He cringed at the idea, but figured that it was the only way to prove her wrong. The hope of being able to rub in her misjudgment of his personality afterwards somewhat warmed Kirk up to the idea. He smiled to himself, now truly excited for their expedition.

Suddenly, all eyes were on him. He blinked at his crew, confused.

"Jim…" Bones encouraged. "Do you have anything to tell us?"

"That's a silly question, Bones. Of course I do." the Captain teased back, regaining the air of superiority that he needed to help the landing party feel secure trusting in him. Looking and acting distracted wouldn't do him any good. He quickly pulled together some orders and stumbled the words out over his tongue. "Science crew, I leave you under Spock's command. You are to fully obey his orders and in no way shall you question him unless I do so myself. I believe you are all aware of the odds of that happening." A few chuckles bought him some more time to think and he shot a pleased grin at his First Officer before continuing. "Chekov, you can shadow cadet Navarro once they split up; cadets Thomson and Gherciou, you're also a team. Uhura, stick with Spock, and medical, keep us breathing."

Kirk noticed McCoy scowl at being referred to as "medical", but chose to ignore it.

"Unless anyone has any questions, I think we're good to go, Scotty."

"Aye, sir." he said after a short, expectant pause. "The transporter is powered up and ready to go when you are."

With a nod, Kirk ordered the landing party to prepare for arrival, and Christine stepped aboard the transporter along with the rest of the crew, her heart racing. As if her excitement in over taking part in a mission wasn't enough, her nerves were screaming at her over dematerializing and she was experiencing an acute fear of the unknown. If it weren't so unprofessional, Christine would have injected herself with a sedative to help herself calm down. She was unsure as to whether she would be able to function properly while she was experiencing such strong excitement and mulling over what she might see and do on the mission when she felt herself becoming lighter and lighter, slowly fading, and then nothing.

**

* * *

**

Kirk's first breath after materializing was a desperate gulp of air that left his head spinning momentarily, causing him to get thrown off balance. He put his hands in front of his body, ready to catch himself, and fell forward. It wasn't until his hands broke the water's surface that Kirk noticed that Scotty had beamed him into the shallow bed of a river, along with a furious McCoy, who was hotly cursing under his breath.

"…his idea of a damn joke… God only knows what disease ridden creatures could be in that water…"

Kirk only caught fragments of his friend's insults as he, too, climbed onto land to regroup with his crew. He felt that there was no need to debate whether or not this act was committed with purpose, knowing Scotty's sometimes-strange sense of humor all too well, and decided to ignore it for now. He currently had more important things to focus on, like breathing.

"Captain, Mr. Scott seems to have gravely miscalculated your position, which I find most unacceptable… unless it was what you refer to as a human prank, which under the current circumstances I find completely illogical." Spock suggested as Kirk squeezed some water out of his yellow sleeves.

"Leave it alone, Spock. I'll talk to him about his timing later; it was harmless." he said, doing his best to hide his annoyance from his First Officer. "Back to the mission!" he commanded, changing the subject in his usual dramatic fashion. "I don't think I need to go over orders again. All I have to add is that we regroup here in four hours, and pay attention to any transmissions your fellow shipmates send. This is uncharted territory so any warnings or observations are the most helpful aid we'll have and should be reported on all frequencies immediately."

He glanced at the crew, allowing time for any of its members to ask for any sort of clarification. When no one did, he continued.

"All right then, split up as requested and fulfill your orders." Kirk said with a nod towards them all. The cadets and Chekov gathered around Spock, who after a few words sent them in different directions, and Uhura followed him. McCoy, Chapel, and Kirk were the only ones left standing in the same spot.

"So, Jim, what are you going to do during the mission?" Bones pried.

"I'll just look around, group with the cadets, switching around if I ever run into another group. Observe. You know Spock wouldn't let me touch his plans." he said with a laugh. "As for now… I think I'm going to observe Pavel and Ana Sofia." A mischievous grin spread across his face before he turned away to his destination.

"Ana Sofia?" Bones shouted after him, his tone demanding clarification. His only answer was Kirk shouting after a pair of figures setting off in the distance.

"Chekov! Cadet Navarro!"

McCoy turned back to face Christine, her quizzical expression challenging his worried one.

"Please, Doctor McCoy, there is something I must know about the Captain. Is he always like this?" she wondered.

"That's a difficult question to answer, Christine." he replied quietly. He used her first name again. "He's always had his moments, but since this morning, I can't differ the two. I don't know if he's recovered or not. I-I don't know what to do."

After one year of working side-by-side with the infamous medical practitioner that Leonard McCoy was on a strictly professional level, Christine had given up hopes on becoming close to her co-worker. Suddenly, the heavy baggage of friendship was being dumped upon her much too quickly for her liking and she was carrying it as best as she could. She wasn't the type of person who dove into anything besides emergency medical procedures; Uhura had always told her that she needed to stop wasting her time testing waters, but it was the only way she felt safe in any situation. Now, not only was she on an unexplored class M planet, but the man who was supposed to be the rock in her career was starting to crumble. Christine cursed Kirk's choice timing on becoming suddenly "ill" (she wasn't sure what to call it) and labeled it the cause of this unnecessary stress, as well as what was inhibiting her from enjoying the fact that she was finally allowed to see beyond the Doctor's scowling veneer.

"We should probably follow the teams." she said after some hesitation. Bones frowned.

"Right. I'm going to keep and eye on Jim then. You're good?" he asked.

"Yes, Doctor, I think I can handle it."

"Well then, Nurse Chapel, call my frequency if you need anything. I'll be doing the same for you."

With that, she watched him leave in the same direction that the Captain took. Still bemused by her exposure to the side of McCoy that extended beyond anger and snark, she pondered it momentarily before wandering towards the cadets that she had gotten to know so well through their various chemical burns.

**

* * *

**

His pant-legs had finally dried when Bones arrived to where he thought Jim and the other two might be. It was an interesting setting that he had entered, having noted along the way that the planet's landscape was very irregular, with giant rocks randomly jutting out of sections of incredibly flat plains, forming cliffs and small mountains and other shapes. Normally, he would have tried to understand how the planet's seismic activity could have formed these wonders, but didn't bother as he approached the roughly forty foot tall, narrow, perfectly vertical rock towering over him. God knows how, but water poured out of a hole just before the rocks summit, forming a small cascade of water that soothingly trickled into a pool at its base. Life flourished around it, and Bones gawked at several strange plant and animal species thriving in the little oasis, noting that almost all the species, besides a few larger varieties of what resembled terran shrubs and vines, were very small. The only familiar thing the Doctor spotted out was the grass he was walking on, if he could call it grass; but now was not the time to crawl on the ground analyzing foliage. Bones was determined to make sure that Jim was all right.

A sudden noise of frustrated protest caused him to look up intently as he approached the base of the rock, but he was only able to make out two blue clad figures against the incredibly bright glare of the planet's sun, much brighter than the one he was accustomed to. The figures were extremely close to each other, and had Bones had poor vision, he may have mistaken the two for one large person. Hoping for his eyes to adjust, he continued to observe. They were standing in a niche that was very close to the mouth of the cascade of water, and McCoy could only wonder how they got up there. Luckily for him, he didn't have to wait for his vision to adjust to the glare before he was able to identify the two figures by the fountain. There was another whine, seemingly begging without words.

"No, no, we can't. Not _now _Pascha. We're… on duty. We're on… a… mission…"

_Pascha? _Bones thought. _I sure as hell know who that is, but who calls him Pascha? _He had no memory of having heard the ensign being called by any other names besides Chekov, Pavel, and Pasch, the latter being a pet-name reserved for the Captain's use only when he felt like having what he deemed to be a serious conversation with him, or when he was drunk. _It must be the cadet… _

"You hev enough data for zee whole team, Sofi." he heard the boy plead. "Zis view is wery beautiful, can ve not take little break? Da?"

McCoy's vision adjusted just in time to see the ensign lean in and kiss cadet Navarro. Despite her earlier protests, she kissed him back, matching Chekov's intensity while running a hand through his curls. The kiss lasted a few seconds before she pulled away from him again, looking incredibly flustered. Bones, in shock from what he was witnessing, tried to bring himself around to say something to the two of them. This was _Chekov_, the ensign that probably over more than half of the crew onboard the U.S.S. Enterprise had at least once considered what it would be like to adopt the kid, simply because they saw him as just that. A kid. If he had liked kids, Bones was sure he might have as well.

"Pascha, later, please. This is my first mission and if first officer Spock finds out you know how unprofessional he'll think this is." She leaned in for another kiss before continuing. "You've worked just as closely with him as I have."

"Vell, yes, but zee Keptin said…" Chekov stammered as his statement faded into another quick kiss.

"I knew he knew the moment he suggested you be put on the mission as well." Ana Sofia laughed.

"Our Keptin knows me too vell for me to keep secret from him, and he had noticed us beforhend. He is wery obserwant." he teased back. As Bones noticed the warning signs of yet another kiss, he felt the overwhelming need to interrupt.

"Hey, kid! Pavel!" he boomed. Both figures snapped their heads downwards to see who had caught them. From about thirty-seven feet below, Bones was still able to see their faces flushing red with embarrassment, the scarlet in Chekov's cheeks, as usual, greatly outdoing that of cadet Navarro's.

"Um, hello Docter." Chekov shouted back nervously. "I'm sorry, ve vere just…"

"I don't give a damn about that, Pavel." he interrupted. "Where's Jim?"

"The Captain left, Sir. He was only here for a few minutes before he started following what resembled a very small light-green cat." Ana Sofia informed him, her hopes being to distract him from the display he saw a few moments earlier. Regardless of the fact that the Doctor "didn't give a damn", she was equally nervous and ashamed of having been caught. "I didn't get the chance to analyze it." Bones smacked his palm to his forehead.

"So you're telling me that Jim made a huge deal out of seeing you two only to leave after a minute?"

"He came to speak to Pas- ensign Chekov, Sir."

"What did he have to say to you, Pavel?" Bones asked as he turned his gaze to the ensign.

"He told me to zank him later, and to stay avay from Spock in zee meantime."

"That's all?" Bones asked in mild disbelief.

"Yes, Docter."

"Which way did he go then?"

"East. He vent away ten minutes ago."

"Great." McCoy mumbled to himself as he started to walk away, due East. He heard the ensign call after him, and had all intention of ignoring him until he heard cadet Navarro's high-pitched scream, causing him to spin around just in time to see Chekov in mid-fall, hurtling towards the base of the rock. _Shit. _Chekov hit the ground at the edge of the pool with a loud thud. Bones ran towards him.

"Damnit, Pavel, why is it that you're always falling off the tops of thing?" he scolded the unconscious figure as he rummaged around for his tricorder.

"How is he?" Cadet Navarro's anxious voice startled him, still unable to figure out how they got up to the niche in the first place, and now he hadn't noticed how she got down. It seemed that her method for the decline was much more conventional than Pavel's. The Doctor continued scanning.

"His vitals are stable, but he's suffering from a concussion, a broken radius in his left arm, and a fractured clavicle in the respective shoulder." he informed her. "How did he fall?"

"He just stepped out too far. He was trying to get your attention…" she drifted off as she stared at Chekov's rapidly bruising body.

"The lower levels of oxygen probably affected his depth perception. He'll be fine as soon as I get him to Sickbay. I just need him awake and to keep him stable. Pavel! Pavel!" McCoy's shouts seemed to have no effect on the ensign. He contemplated how else to wake him without moving his body. "Pavel, Jim confirmed that the hypospray was invented by Aaron Ismach!"

At this, Chekov stirred, but simply groaned.

"That's right kid, stay awake." Bones encouraged while giving his uninjured shoulder a squeeze, then took out his communicator. "Scotty!" The engineer's voice sounded at the other end.

"Aye?"

"I need you to beam Pavel and I up. He's had an accident and I need to get him to the Sickbay as quickly as possible. Do you have our coordinates?" Bones said in a rush.

"Yes, indeed I do. What happened to Chekov?"

"Beam us up, damnit! I'll explain later."

**

* * *

**

"Nurse Chapel, you hear me?"

The voice of Leonard McCoy emanating from her communicator startled her.

"Um… yes Doctor McCoy, loud and clear." she replied.

"We've encountered a problem. Chekov had a pretty big fall and I'm back in the Sickbay with him."

"Oh! What happened? Is he alright?"

"He's stable, a few broken bones that I need to fix, but he's currently suffering from a concussion so I need to stay and watch him. Do you remember the favour I asked of you earlier?"

Christine groaned inwardly. As much as she wanted to help her co-worker, she didn't feel like babysitting her Captain.

"Yes sir." she replied with an almost inaudible sigh. "What's his location?"

"From your coordinates… he's only 3 minutes north of you. Thank you, Christine. You can reach me on this frequency if you need anything." Bones' voice was gone in a snap.

"Great."she muttered as she headed in the direction as advised by Doctor McCoy. Spock and Uhura obviously didn't need any of her help, and she found that she'd much rather keep the other two cadets safe, but they were going to regroup with cadet Navarro since she was now alone. Regardless, she had made a promise.

Only a minute into her walk, she heard an all too familiar yelp; the very same she had heard earlier this morning when McCoy injected Kirk with the hypospray. Christine ran towards the sound, which was coming from behind a small rock surrounded by plants that resembled single, large leaves. As she rounded to the backside of the rock, she saw Kirk cradling his hand.

"What are you doing alone?" Her tone successfully converted the question into a scold. Kirk looked up from his hand, surprised. The instant he laid his eyes on Christine, the familiar heart-racing returned, and though he was standing still, he was starting to feel more out of breath than he had his entire time on the planet so far. He tried, unsuccessfully to push the feelings down, which only made it worse.

"Oh, ummm… I was following that."

Christine looked at the spot on the ground that the Captain had signaled with his head. Sitting just a few feet away from them, was a small catlike creature, only it was much leaner than any cat she had ever seen. There was nothing "cute" about it, which is how one would usually describe a cat; it simply looked important. Christine shook her head. The thought made no sense to her. Important? She almost laughed. The tiny green creature sat perfectly still, unblinkingly staring up at Kirk with huge orange eyes, the only movement being the twitching of its long tail. She guessed that it was just over two times the length of the creature's body.

"Why?" she asked, a little bewildered as to why he would follow it.

"Because of what it's doing." Kirk answered as best as he could. He felt like his stomach was halfway up his throat, and if he fought it any longer, his gag reflexes might kick in. Nurse Chapel looked back down at the creature.

"You followed it because it was staring at you?" Kirk nodded. "I don't think it was watching you because it found you sexy. Sorry to disappoint you." she said sarcastically. Christine didn't feel like being playful. Her sarcasm was the product of sheer annoyance. Whether or not it was her intention, Kirk laughed, and found that as he did so, he relaxed. His heart rate, although fast, had slowed down reasonably, and the knot in his stomach was replaced by a more pleasant feeling, too subtle at the moment for him to describe. He made to run a hand through his hair, but the moment he flexed his fingers, he yelped in pain again. Christine grabbed his wrist to inspect his hand.

"How did you manage to do this?" she asked. The skin was very raw, and looked as if he has burnt it.

"I followed the thing to this rock, and it stopped and just kept staring at me. I didn't know what it wanted from me, so I tried touching it." he said as he grimaced at his hand.

"You touched it…" Christine said slowly.

"Yes, yes, I know, stupid. I just couldn't figure out what it wanted me to do."

"And it did what, breathe fire?" she asked mockingly as the passed her medical tricorder over his hand.

"No… I didn't even get to touch it. It put out some kind of force field that did this to my hand."

Christine looked back at the tiny creature, having trouble understanding how something that seemed to primitive had developed a self-defense as advanced as a force field, not to mention she could see no source for one.

"You're burnt pretty badly," she said "but nothing I can't fix." She let go of his wrist and rummaged through her standard medical kit, pulling out what looked like an electric hairbrush, minus the brush.

"What is that?"

She didn't answer his question, but simply started to move it slowly across the palm of his hand. It put out a light blue light, healing the skin as it passed over it. She flipped his hand over and repeated the action. "It's a dermal regenerator." she finally replied.

Kirk had stopped watching her heal his hand after a few seconds to watch her expression as she worked. Her eyes were focused, but her face was very passive. He felt an involuntary thought creeping in, and unlike so many other times where he fought it, he allowed himself to register it. _She's beautiful. _

As she finished healing him, she put away the dermal regenerator, and then took his hand one again to inspect it for any areas that she may have looked over. While running her fingers over his, she looked up. "Does it feel better?"

Looking into her clear blue eyes and feeling her touch was enough, and for the first time, Kirk understood what it meant to feel butterflies in his stomach.

"Y-yes." he stammered, feeling the heat rising to his face. Kirk was unable to recall a single time he had blushed before; this was two firsts in a matter of minutes and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to handle it. Also, the fact that there was a blush tingling his cheeks made him feel extremely vulnerable and exposed. Kirk kept his expression as neutral as possible, hoping that Christine would make nothing of it.

"Are you warm?" the Nurse asked, frowning at him.

"What?"

"Do you have a fever?" She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. The Captain laughed to himself, extremely grateful for the fact that Christine definitely had the mentality of a nurse.

"Maybe. I do feel a little hot." Kirk said with a shrug. His confidence was slowly rising again, knowing that he wasn't compromized, and he felt more in his element as he watched her scan him with the medical tricorder once again. "Do you enjoy scanning me with that thing, Christine? This may be a record for the day."

"I'm not the one touching unfamiliar life-forms and having mental breakdowns, _Jim_." she shot back, still in no mood to be anything beyond condescending towards the man before her. "Your body temperature is at thirty-seven point eight degrees centigrade. That's a mild fever." A concerned look spread across her brow. "From what?" she wondered aloud.

"Maybe it's some kind of side effect of being exposed to that thing's force field." Kirk said, signaling the creature. His perfect excuse remained immobile as Christine studied it, it's orange eyes still locked intently on Kirk.

"It's possible…" she mused, while looking back at Kirk. As she was just about to put her tricorder away in the medical kit, a voice startled her.

"Don't lie to her, James."

Christine looked up at Kirk questioningly.

"Hey, it wasn't me." He threw up his hands defensively. They both looked around, trying to locate the owner of the voice, but there was no one in sight. Suddenly, Christine gasped and pointed the tricorder at the little creature in order to scan it. It started running away from them immediately, and Christine ran after it, desperate to complete the scan. The cat-like creature seemed to notice that the Nurse wasn't giving up her pursuit, because after a minute's chase, it disappeared into thin air.

She was out of breath. The extremely low levels of oxygen hadn't aided her at all during the chase, and she stumbled slowly onto the floor, sitting in an awkward position. Her first breath after materializing was like the first breath of one takes after swimming under water for longer than the body can handle; a desperate gulp, and for her first few minutes on the planet, no amount of air she breathed in seemed to help eliminate that sensation. Over the past couple of hours, her breathing had become more adjusted to the environment. Now, Christine felt as if she were back at square one.

"Are you ok?" Kirk asked, jogging up to her. Christine nodded.

"I'll be… fine. You might want to… send a message to… Spock." She even felt too out of breath to speak properly. "Only… if you approve… of course…"

"It is his little mission." Kirk didn't take his eyes off of Christine as he took out his communicator. "All teams regroup at rendezvous point. Spock, we've made an interesting discovery that I think you'd be excited to hear about. Kirk out."

A buzz of "aye Captain"s and "we're on our way"s buzzed through his communicator. Spock's familiar voice stood out.

"I do not believe that excited is an emotion to expect from me, Captain, but I'll do my best to express my interest if in fact the discovery is worthy."

"Try not to get my hopes up." Kirk muttered. _Well, _he thought, _I guess that this planet wasn't all hype.

* * *

_

_**A/N: ****So I hope you enjoyed! Reviews fuel my fics so please leave one. They really catalyze my writing speeds :p**_

**_hace_**

_

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	7. Damnit Pavel!

**A/N: _And a good 2 months later... haha I am so sorry you guys. I've been so ridiculously busy with school that I almost died. But I'm still here! haha hooray which means more chapters! I hope you don't hate me or anything. I'm on a weeks vacation right now so I finally got the time to do this. It makes my life look pretty sad, haha but whatever. I'm almost done with high school. _**

**_So this chapter is shorter than the last, but I've already started on chapter 8 so it's all good, and I think it's going to be much longer. Because it took me so long, I don't want to make you wait even longer by writing a long A/N. Enjoy and I AM SOOOO SORRY._**

**I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

* * *

**7. Damnit Pavel**

Ten minutes later, Christine and Kirk arrived at the rendezvous point to find Lt. Uhura and Spock already waiting. The captain watched anxiously as the group of cadets approached, but was surprised to find that Chekov wasn't with them. McCoy still hadn't arrived either.

"Cadet Navarro, where is Pavel?" he asked as his eyes met those of the cadet. She only stared back up at him, wide eyed, looking rather shaken. "You can consider that an order, cadet."

"He… he fell. D-doctor McCoy took him back to the sickbay."

"_What?_"

"It's true, Captain." Christine confirmed. Kirk turned to her, looking incredibly frustrated, and, she wasn't sure of it, angry?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Again, his question seemed more like a demand. He was extremely fond of Pavel, the entirety of the bridge crew was well aware of the way their Captain had practically adopted the ensign as a younger brother, and even most of the crew of the _U.S.S. Enterprise _knew it too.

"Well, you were hurt and I didn't want… doctor McCoy said- "

"I asked for an update on _anything _and _everything_." Kirk interrupted as he activated his communicator. "Bones, come in."

"Judging by your tone, I assume you got the news." The Doctor's voice sounded unamused, probably due to the fact that Kirk was interrupting his work.

"How is he?" Kirk's stern tone broke into a more sympathetic one as he asked the question.

"He's stable… but… if you wrap up down there soon it would be great to have you back up here. I need your Captain's opinion on a matter regarding Pavel's condition."

"Thank you, Bones. Expect us to return shortly." he said as he snapped his communicator shut, then addressed his crew. "Prepare to be transported back to the ship momentarily." Spock took a step forward.

"Captain, perhaps we should discuss your discovery while we are still on the planet?"

"We will do nothing of the sort. This is a mission of your personal interest, Spock, and therefore it will be put on hold until Pavel's condition is restored to full health. I don't think that that green cat-thing has anyone else's hand to burn anyways. It will probably be here when and if we come back."

"Green cat-thing?" Spock inquired, the idea of a life form beyond vegetation peaking his interest.

"Yes." the Captain said, waving the comment aside as he once again opened his communicator. "Scotty, beam us up."

* * *

Once again, the odd sensation of nothing built up in the pit of Christine's stomach and slowly spread throughout her body. Seconds later, she was standing on the transporter of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Gratefully, she swallowed the air, allowing her lungs to fill with oxygen once again. She scanned the transporter room until she found her Captain, who had already stepped off of the transporter and was standing in the doorway, facing the landing party.

"Spock, Uhura and Nurse Chapel, report to sickbay immediately. We need to ensure that everything is done so that Pavel is OK. The rest of you, return to your posts."

"Captain, may I- "

"Cadet Navarro, return to your post. If you are needed you will be contacted." With that, he turned on his heel and walked quickly down the hall. Christine hurried after him, slightly marveled by his ability to maintain his composure in a situation that he deemed worthy, when only moments ago he seemed so frail. His large strides were practically twice the size of hers, and Christine had to jog by his side to keep his pace. In only moments, she turned the corner behind Kirk into the sickbay.

* * *

Bones shook his head as Kirk and his crew stood a few feet from the edge of Chekov's bed, staring blankly at the young boy sitting on the edge, humming softly to himself. His arm was in a sling, and most of his curls were covered in bandages.

"I've mended his radius and his clavicle, but he seems to have hit his head pretty hard. He's been humming that damn tune for hours." Bones whined to the rest of the present crew. As if on cue, Chekov broke out into song.

"Ya soldat!

Ya ne spal pyat' let

i u menya pod glazami meshki

Ya sam ne videl,

no mne tak skazali…"

His singing was quite loud, furthering McCoy's frustration. He groaned, slamming his forehead against the table. "You have not had to sit in this room with him for two hours listening to that same tune over and over again."

"Lt. Uhura, is that Russian?" Kirk asked, approaching the ensign cautiously.

"Yes, Captain. It appears that he's singing a song about a soldier."

"Ya soldat!

mne obidno kogda ostayotsya odin patron,

Tol'ko ya ili on

Posledniy vagon,

samogon,

nas takikh million

v OOOON…"

"Spock?" Kirk inquired rather helplessly. Chekov seemed to be in some kind of trance.

"If I remember correctly from my studies of the 21st century of your planet, there was only one group that I am aware of that sang a certain genre referred to as Russian Reggae. I'd assume that he is singing one of their songs." he replied rather unmoved, pressing away at the buttons of his tricorder.

"Eta ragga dlya tebya mama-voyna,

teper' ty dovol'na?"

"Pasch, can you be quiet? I can't think!" the Captain shouted, frustrated. Chekov proceeded to stand on the bed and sing louder than he was before.

"I'ma souldzja… I'ma soulzja…

I'ma souldzja… I'ma souldzja…

I'ma soul…dzja… soul…dzja… soul…dzja… soul…dzja-ja!"

"I think that's English…" Uhura said thoughtfully. Bones stood next to Kirk, scowling.

"Do you want me to sedate him, Jim?"

"No, Bones, it's fine." Kirk said, also frowning. He then proceeded to pull Chekov off of the bed and stood the boy in front of him. "Pasch! Pasch, stop singing please!" he yelled. Chekov stared up at Kirk, his expression matching that of a child who is convinced that the boogeyman is under his bed. He seemed to only just have become aware of the fact that he was not alone in the room.

"отпущенный!" he shouted at the much larger man who was gripping him by the shoulders.

"He wants you to let go." Spock translated, still not looking up from his tricorder.

"Pasch, I need you to-"

"кто – Вы?!" Chekov broke free, interrupting his Captain as he backed into the wall of the sickbay, ranting in Russian and staring at everyone stood before him wildly.

"Who are you?" Spock said calmly, once again translating for the ensign.

"Thank you Mr. Spock." Kirk said bluntly, before returning his attention the frightened boy before him. "Pasch, Pavel. I need you to speak English." Chekov's head snapped up as Kirk said his first name.

"I am Pavel." he said. "Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"Jim, he has amnesia." Bones said as he approached Chekov with his tricorder.

"It's nice to know that you had to go to med school in order to be able to make that diagnosis, Bones." Kirk replied sarcastically.

"Anytime. At least he knows who he is."

"Who are you?!" Chekov yelled, feeling ignored.

"I am captain James T. Kirk. _Your _captain James T. Kirk. You are Pavel Andreievich Chekov." Kirk spoke slowly.

"Yes, I know who _I _am. Your name is unfamiliar to me, as are your friends. Please, let me return home."

"Pasch, this _is _your home. You are a member of Starfleet, and part of my bridge crew. You are on the U.S.S. Enterprise."

"I am on boat? How did I get here?" Chekov gave him a mistrusting glare. "Take me beck to Russia immediately!"

Kirk couldn't help but to laugh.

"You're not on a boat, Pavel. You're on a spaceship."

"A spaceship? Zat cannot be true."

"Take a walk with me and I'll show you…" Kirk said invitingly, in his best attempt to make Chekov feel safe. His attempt obviously failed. Chekov's eyes widened and he pressed his back up against the wall, trying to create as much distance between himself and the man in the gold shirt.

"I vill be going nowhere with you." he said stubbornly.

"Captain," Uhura said quietly "maybe I should go get cadet Navarro." Kirk nodded.

"It's alright Pasch, you don't have to go anywhere then. Just stay here. Someone is coming to visit you."

Chekov glared at Kirk as he sat on the floor, feeling defeated. Slowly, he started to hum again, increasing in volume over each second that passed.

"Don't make me sedate you, Pavel." McCoy growled as he stood up from his seat, hypospray in hand. Chekov squealed, practically trying to merge his body into the wall.

"Bones," Kirk pushed McCoy back into his chair, "you're not helping."

"At least he's quiet now." Bones said with a chuckle, looking over at the extremely still ensign. The sound of the sickbay's sliding doors caused him to turn around. Cadet Navarro ran into the sickbay, followed by Uhura, stopping next to Kirk. He looked at her and nodded his approval.

"Pascha?" she asked, stepping towards him. Chekov looked up. Recognition sparked in his eyes like a fire.

"…Sofi."

"Yes." she said with a smile as she sat down next to him on the ground. "What's the matter?" He cupped his un-slung hand around her cheek.

"Zey are keeping me here and vill not let me go home. You are keptive as vell?"

Ana Sofia pressed her hand against his.

"No, Pascha, I'm not a captive. Neither are you. This is practically your home. You are an ensign onboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, and part of one of the most prestigious crews in all of Starfleet command. Your Starfleet serial number is 656-5827D, and they say you're quite the genius. Do you remember, Pascha?"

"Perheps… but how can you be sure?"

"See that gold shirt that the Captain is wearing?"

"Yes."

"Look at your shirt. It's the same."

Chekov looked down at his own shirt, allowing a small smile to hint at the corner of his lips as he fingered the Starfleet logo on the left side of his chest. "I am not keptive."

"No, you're not." Kirk chimed in, glad that Chekov was finally becoming coherent.

"I am sorry for causing trouble, Keptin. It vas not intentional." he said, looking away from his Starfleet logo to make eye contact with Kirk.

"I know it wasn't, Pasch. You just recover quick so I can have my ensign back." Relief was plastered across his face.

"You remember the layout of the ship, right Pascha?" Sofi asked. Chekov nodded with a smile. "Do you want to take me on a little walk then?"

"I vould like zat wery much." he said as he stood up, helping cadet Navarro with his good arm. "If it is OK with zee Keptin, of course."

"Take your time." Kirk flashed an all too readable smile to the ensign.

"Wait!" McCoy shouted. "He is still my patient. I want him back here in half an hour so I can check his vitals."

"Of course, Docter." Chekov grinned, then left the sickbay with Ana Sofia.

* * *

Only moments later, the sickbay was once again empty. Christine looked around. Doctor McCoy was sitting once again, reading over files, and Kirk was sitting on one of the beds, doing nothing in particular. She watched him as he frowned off into space.

"Are you feeling well, Captain?" she asked, approaching him.

"What? Oh, yeah, just uhhh… headache." he said, turning away from her blue eyes. Once again, he was experiencing a wide range of emotions that were foreign to him. The whole display between Chekov and cadet Navarro brought his thoughts back to Christine Chapel, exactly a place where he wished his thoughts wouldn't go. It wasn't the usual mindless fantasies that he was used to, and the fact that these were more out of his control than the latter unnerved him. He felt her delicate hand on his shoulder, only bringing them on full force.

"Do you want something for it? I can prepare a hypospray that will take it away in a second." She felt Kirk flinch under her touch at the mention of a hypospray. "Or not?"

Kirk laughed, once again feeling better as he did so.

"You really care about Chekov, don't you?" Christine asked. Kirk patted the space besides him.

"Sit." He waited until she was comfortably seated before continuing. "It started out as me just helping him out. To me he was just this boy who had gotten into something bigger than he was aware of. We all kind of started out that way, I guess, but he was so much younger than the rest of us…" he trailed off. "After a little while, I was able to really see how smart he was and how confident he was in certain areas, and I started to notice little things we had in common. He looks up to me, and well, I want to make sure everything works out for him."

"Did you set him up with the Cadet?" She looked up at him. Kirk did his best not to meet her gaze, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"No, actually." Kirk smiled, turning towards Christine. He felt his stomach drop, reminding him of why he was staring at the floor. "He did that himself, and didn't come to me about it until earlier today. I've had to figure things out through observation over the past few weeks. The boy has some charm. I just make it my duty to make sure he gets opportunities to spend time with her."

"Now I'm unsure as to if that's really kind of you or really irresponsible." she mused.

"Well you see now, you have to base that judgment upon who I'm giving that freedom to. Both ensign Chekov and cadet Navarro are extremely responsible people, therefore making my decision to pair them up whenever possible extremely responsible. Even with the unfortunate setback, Ana Sofia gathered just about as much information as Spock."

"Really?" Christine laughed. "And from your big brother point of view, do you approve of his choice?"

"From what I've heard, she's very proud of her culture, and it's just fact that Pavel is entirely too proud of his. They don't fit perfectly. So yes, I think he did well."

Never before had Kirk actually considered any aspect of a relationship besides the attractiveness of both counterparts. After witnessing the way Ana Sofia and Pavel behaved, he felt an unfamiliar twinge in his heart that he finally labeled as loneliness. That had been what he was debating when Christine approached him. Christine. It was so foreign to him to feel lonely; Kirk had always been satisfied with a one night stand or random hook-up. He felt like that was what defined him, but Christine Chapel's caring and obviously oblivious nature was causing him to question it. Perhaps he would be more confident if she showed some attraction to him as well, but because she seemed so neutral towards him, and most of the time annoyed with him, Kirk felt unable to do anything. Usually that would be of no importance to him, and he would push her until she gave in, but currently, he was just too nervous.

_Nervous. _He thought in annoyance. The idea of him being anything but boastingly confident sounded like a bad horror film, and frustration was overcoming him.

"Are you sure you're OK, Captain? Do you need me to look at your hand?" Christine nursed as she watched Kirk's frown deepen.

"I asked you to call me Jim..." he whispered. His tone wasn't one to be considered as kind or inviting. Each time she called him Captain just worsened his anxiety.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I'm fine!" he shouted as he quickly moved towards the exit of the sickbay, avoiding looking at Christine at all costs. "Bones, come with me to my quarters."

"But Jim, Chekov will be back any moment. I need to be here to give him a checkup."

"You are coming with me. I'm sure you've trained Nurse Chapel well enough for her to be able to give Pavel a thorough inspection. Once he's cleared, send him and cadet Navarro to the bridge to meet with Mr. Spock." he ordered, turning out the door and leaving a stunned Christine and a gawking McCoy standing in the Sickbay.

"I… uh… do as he said." Bones said before running out behind the Captain.

* * *

**A/N: _The next chapter is longer, I promise! If you want Chekov's song, look up by "Солдат" by 5'nizza. Why did I pick that song??? Because it is generally awesome. haha_**

**_If there is anything you disliked or loved or ANYTHING you wish to let me know in general, please review and I will take whatever is written into consideration._**

**_I promise I will do my best to update the next chapter before I get back to school next monday! _**

**_~hace_**


	8. Impulse

**A/N: _Yayyyy I kept my promise!!! Here's another chapter for your reading pleasure. Now I need to get to work haha. Only 31 hours until a bunch of school work is due, oh joy. I wanted to make sure I made up for my being MIA for 3 months though. I will try to make sure that that doesn't happen again, but it might take me a while between updates. I will keep writing though. Things are just starting to get good. haha_**

**_I just read over this chapter and realized that there is a lot of glaring and sighing going on. Thank god for thesauruses. lol_**

**_Okkkkkk I don't have much else to say. READ :)_**

**I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THE CHARACTERS, IDEAS, TERMINOLOGY, LAYOUT OF THE ENTERPRISE, ETC BELONG TO THE BRILLIANT CREATORS OF STAR TREK, FROM GENE RODDENBERRY TO J.J. ABRAMS. THIS APPLIES TO THIS CHAPTER AND ALL THE CHAPTERS THAT FOLLOW IN MY FIC. I THANK THEM FOR THEIR BRILLIANCE AND INSPIRATION.**

* * *

**8. Impulse**

"What the hell is it, Jim?" Bones hissed as the doors to the Captain's quarters lightly swished shut behind him. "You've been acting up since you passed out two days ago in this very room and I can't find any medically viable reason as to why. Now are you going to offer me the goddamned sanity of an explanation, or is this whole situation screwed like mostly everything else that involves yourself?" he demanded, glaring at Kirk angrily from the entrance. Kirk would normally have laughed at him to blow his comments off, if it weren't for the fact that he would much rather explain his conflict to a McCoy that wasn't fighting the urge to throttle him.

"Yeah, uh… sorry about that." Kirk said as he mussed his hair. "There is a problem."

"You're damn right there is. Care to tell me what exactly the problem is?"

"Christine Chapel." He tried his best to maintain his composure as he said her name.

"My nurse? What about her? Did she do something wrong?" Bones asked as he tried to read the expression of his friend. "Do you need me to talk to her?"

"No, no, she's perfect. That's the problem."

"You're not making any sense."

"I…" Kirk stammered as he braced himself for McCoy's reaction, entirely too sure of the fact that some form of taunting would ensue. "I like her."

"Look, Jim. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't sleep with my nurse, all right?" he groaned. "I need her to be happy when she comes into work, not distressed."

"Bones, that's the problem. I don't just want to sleep with her. I _like _her." He winced as he said the word aloud for a second time. He winced again when he saw McCoy raise his eyebrows in disbelief.

"No you don't." he laughed.

"I do."

"No you don't."

"Don't make me say it again!" Kirk yelled, feeling his cheeks redden. The conflict of being out of his element was enough; McCoy's taunting was an unnecessary burden.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right, Jim? Do you have a fever or did you pick up a bug on that planet or what? Quit pulling my leg. You're acting like a damn 6th grader."

"No, Bones, I feel fine. Well I don't feel fine, but I'm not sick." he sighed.

"This is not like you…" McCoy said with a frown as he eyed Kirk.

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. Please, can you stop being so cynical for one second and help me out here? I- I don't know what to do." Kirk tried his best not to sound pitiful, but judging by the look on Bones' face, he knew he was failing.

"Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a relationship guru. Notice that I'm out here in space because of a divorce. What do you expect me to do?"

"I don't know. Just try to help me?" he asked as he plopped into one of the chairs still placed around the wooden table. McCoy took a seat next to him.

"If I pour you a glass of whiskey, do you promise not to pass out again?" he teased.

"Don't remind me." Kirk said with a smile as he accepted the glass that Bones handed to him.

"So… I guess the best way to start this is to ask you how you feel." McCoy said thoughtfully. Kirk blankly stared at him, waiting. "How do you feel, Jim?" He ensured that the question was asked as obnoxiously as possible.

"Funny you should ask," Kirk replied sarcastically, causing Bones to roll his eyes "because I haven't been entirely myself as of late. I'm sure you've noticed, which is why you're asking…"

"Cut to the chase." McCoy interrupted.

"Okay, geez. Well, maybe I should work from the outside in. There's the obvious reason that she's beautiful, and her eyes are the most mesmerizing things that I have ever seen. They're so clear and blue and I can't bring myself to look into them because every time I do I can feel my stomach turn and- " he cut short when he looked at Bones' expression, which exposed that fact that he seemed to be having trouble taking him seriously. "Do you want me to explain this to you or not?"

"Yes. Are you sure you're well?"

"Yes, Bones, I'm still sane if that's what you're asking."

"I'll take your word for it then." he joked as Jim glared at him before continuing.

"Then there's just the way that she, I don't know, is. Christine is so caring towards everyone, in a way that should make you sick, but she's short tempered with me and isn't afraid to challenge me. She notices little things, and… I don't know Bones. I can't explain it, but the way she makes me feel drives me crazy, and not the good kind of crazy."

McCoy simply nodded.

"Well, would you like to know how she makes me feel?" Kirk asked in annoyance. McCoy nodded again. "You frustrate me." Kirk sighed. "Since you care so much, I'll tell you. If I look into her eyes and my stomach drops, my heart feels like it's trying to break out of my chest, and my throat closes up in the most uncomfortable way. If she touches me, I just stop. Every part of me stops but my mind keeps going and spinning and I get dizzy. I flush and get nervous and self-conscious and none of this has ever happened to me before. If I don't fight it then I feel fine, but I have to fight it. I don't know how she feels, and I _care _about how she feels, so I'm too afraid to just go with my impulses. I can't trust my impulses. I fight it and I just feel worse. The worst part is when she calls me Captain. I keep telling her to call me Jim and she won't. That doesn't help my… insecurity." The last word was practically an embarrassed sigh.

"Well, this would explain the symptoms…" Bones thought aloud. "You really had me worried, ya know that?" he scolded.

"Really? I'm surprised to know that you actually care about me, Bones. I'm honored."

"Yeah, I'm a good friend, whatever. Well, Jim, my advice to you would be to stop repressing your feelings. Maybe if you just went with it and told her how you feel then, who knows, things will just work themselves out. Most women on this ship have a thing for you anyways." With that he downed the rest of his glass and stood, preparing to leave.

"But what if she doesn't? And either way, I don't want her to just have a _thing_ for my anyways. I- " Kirk stopped short and frowned at his friend as he cut him off once again.

"Jim, you came to me, which makes me your doctor and you my patient."

"I'm not sure that's what this constitutes us as…" Kirk questioned.

"Shut up and listen. My doctor's orders are for you to go and just do whatever your impulses tell you to do. Just don't distress my nurse please. I've finally found a good one who I don't intimidate the hell out of."

"Fine." Kirk huffed childishly, aware of the fact that pouting just might be taking it too far, but doing so regardless. Bones groaned inwardly.

"Yeah, good luck with that. I'll tell you what; I have to back to the sickbay to finish organizing some things, you stay here and sort things out in that head of yours. Meet me there in one hour and tell me if you've figured anything out. I'm sure that Spock is going to take advantage of the time that he has to review his data, giving us a few hours before he'll want to beam back down."

"Will do." he replied, waving off his friend as he watched him step out of his quarters. Once McCoy had left, Kirk finished his glass and sat on the edge of his bed, resting his face in his palms, trying to think. To his dismay, it wasn't really working.

* * *

"Is zee Keptin angry?" Chekov asked Nurse Chapel as she attached a variety of wires to the ensign's chest. Ana Sofia was seated on the bed adjacent to his, watching the different lights flash on the screen above Chekov's head as she attempted to interpret what they meant with regards to his health.

Christine sighed. "I honestly don't know. Why do you ask?" she ventured as she poked at a few buttons on her tricorder.

"I passed him in zee hall as I vas returning to sickbay, and greeted him as alvays. He ignored me and valked past me as quickly as possible. Docter McCoy vas running after him."

"I see… to be honest I don't really know what's going on. He's been having mood swings on and off all day."

"I zink it is my fault." Chekov fretted.

"No hun, don't be silly. I just don't think he's feeling well. You've done nothing wrong." The screen above Chekov's head beeped.

"What does that mean?" cadet Navarro asked eagerly.

"It means he's fine." a gruff voice answered from behind her, causing the cadet to jump.

"Perfect timing, doctor McCoy, the standard test cleared Chekov to report for duty. Are there any other tests you'd like to run before releasing him?" Christine asked expectantly.

"No, go ahead and let him go. I need to talk to you…" He stood in the same spot, not looking at anything in particular. He wasn't sure what he was going to talk to her about, to be honest. He just felt that something needed to be done.

Christine frowned. "Okay, ensign, you're good to go. Both you and cadet Navarro need to report back to the bridge. Spock is probably waiting for your data."

Both left the sickbay, to cheery for McCoy to bear. Once they were out of sight, he realized that Christine had been standing next to him expectantly, waiting for his "talk".

"Is it about the Captain? How is he?" she nonchalantly asked.

"No, it's not." Bones lied, finding to his dismay that he was unable to reveal Kirk's situation to the target of his affections herself. "I was just weary about asking you to do me another favour, since you've done so many for me today." He awaited her response.

"As long as I don't have to baby-sit James T. Kirk again, then of course, Doctor." his nurse joked.

"Right. It's got nothing to do with him." Bones muttered as he racked his brain for something to say. Christine Chapel frowned.

"So what is it?"

"Could you hold down the fort again for me?" he blurted, disappointed in the fact that asking her to once again take over for him in the sickbay was all he could think of. Even more disappointing was the fact that he could not think of a reason as to why he needed her to do so.

"No problem. Where are you running off to now?" Christine pried, amused by McCoy's look of utter confusion, and equally intrigued to discover its source.

"Stuff…" he trailed off as he once again left the sickbay, not exactly sure of where he was going. All Leonard McCoy knew was that he did not plan on returning for Kirk's next visit.

* * *

Kirk slung himself onto his bed and groaned in frustration. He had tried to sort things out in his mind, but every time he thought about Christine, his reflexes would kick in and make him uncomfortable and moody. Soon he would have to face an angry doctor with no verdict to defend himself with. He wasn't sure as to what he feared more: Christine Chapel's rejection or Bones' glorified rant.

Gathering all his willpower, he stood and left his quarters, sighing as he stepped onto the turbolift. He had a distinct dislike for whenever Bones took it upon himself to play the role of the concerned friend, because whenever he did, things became serious. Kirk would find himself unable to take on tasks with his usual playful cockiness, and unable to flash his signature shit-eating grin without five minutes of prior meditation. Once Bones became the concerned friend, Kirk's problems became real. Yet, at the same time, he found himself appreciating the help from his friend as he walked down the long white hall that lead to the sickbay. Without McCoy's concerns, Kirk would leave his biggest personal problems floating in limbo, as he much preferred to engross himself in the exotic situations that he and his crew always seemed to get into rather than nurse his own.

It was just as Kirk's admiration for the help he was receiving from his Chief Medical Officer peaked that he turned the corner into the sickbay to find no Chief Medical Officer in sight; just an exceptionally beautiful nurse with blue eyes and a defiant heart performing an inventory of the medical supplies onboard the Enterprise. Before she turned away from the wall that she was facing, Kirk slipped back out into the hallway and let out a relieved breath once he determined that he had made it out unseen. He was all too aware of the plan that McCoy had devised. _Bones you asshole._

He stood in the hall, debating whether or not to go back into the sickbay, and what to say to Christine, when Spock contacted him over his communicator.

"Spock to Captain Kirk." his voice buzzed.

"Yes, Spock?" Kirk answered.

"Captain, I would like to submit my request to return to the planet, now that ensign Chekov's health has been restored and all current data has been processed and surveyed."

Kirk jumped at the excuse not to re-enter the sickbay. "Of course, Spock. Please advise all members of the landing party to report to the transporter room immediately."

"Thank you, Captain."

The communicator clicked off, and Kirk couldn't help but to grin at having outsmarted Bones by avoiding the situation all together with a legitimate excuse. He walked down the hall and stepped back onto the turbolift, Christine following a few seconds behind him. _Shit_. He had completely forgotten that Christine would use the same turbolift since it was the closest to the sickbay.

"Captain." she acknowledged with a smile and stood next to him.

"Christine." he muttered as he busied himself with the buttons on the wall. A silence followed that unnerved him, and he eyed one particularly large red knob before taking a deep breath and jamming it. The turbolift lurched to a full stop.

"What happened?" Christine asked as she spun around to face Kirk.

Kirk leaned against the wall. "Nothing. I stopped it."

Christine's worried look turned into a confused scowl. "Why?" she demanded.

"Because…" he trailed off, looking into her widened eyes. Here he was alone with her, and he found himself unable to articulate what he so badly needed to say. Frustrated, he took a step towards her, and in turn she took a step back, lightly bumping into the wall behind her. She gasped, startled, but didn't take her gaze off of Kirk. He struggled to get the words out. A simple three words. _It shouldn't be this hard,_ he thought as he looked down at her. She was looking up at him, her eyes boring into his as she stood her ground, unsure of what to expect.

Nothing. Nothing. Kirk couldn't say a word, and her blue eyes remained locked on his. He couldn't break away. He didn't want to break away, but every second that passed caused his heart to beat faster and faster, and he could feel the heat rising. When he became convinced that his Starfleet sweater was suffocating him, impulse took over. He cradled Christine's lower back in his hands and met her lips with his. She did nothing, frozen, and Kirk cursed himself for panicking, ashamed of having put her in this situation and ruining all his chances. He just thought that it would be easier, this way; that maybe she would understand, but he knew he had hoped in vain. Just as he was about to break the kiss, much to his surprise, Christine relaxed and parted her lips, welcoming him. It deepened as she dropped her medical kit on the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on the tips of her toes. Kirk spread his hands on her back, pulling her closer to him, and she arched into him. His heart was beating at an inhuman rate. He was surprised to find that he felt more joyful than aroused, but welcomed the feeling as he lost himself in the moment. Christine's scent was overpowering, her small frame pressed hard against his as he ran his fingers through her soft hair. Emotions seared through him that he had never before experienced, and he was more than willing to invite them to stay.

Suddenly, Christine broke the kiss. Kirk refused to open his eyes, sensing that something was wrong as her body froze once again.

"Why can't you call me Jim?" he whispered to her, pain rising in his voice as he opened his eyes. Christine's expression was one that he had never seen before. She looked up at him, her eyes watering as she stared icily at him. Slowly, she slid out from between him and the wall, retrieved her medical supplies from where they had scattered on the floor, and crossed the turbolift, slamming her hand against the emergency stop button. The turbo lift once again jerked to life as it continued its descent. She turned her head and continued to look at him with the same icy stare. The rest of the ride was done in silence; Kirk and Christine stood at opposite ends of the space. He was at a total loss of words, unable to understand any of what had just happened, and simply looked down at the floor, embarrassed. She had kissed him, and then stopped. None of it made sense, but Kirk assumed that it was his fault.

Finally, the selected deck was reached after what seemed like an interminable ride, and Christine hurried off, leaving the Captain wounded and alone. After she was out of sight, he too made his way towards the transporter room.

* * *

**A/N: _Wtf Chapel?!?! Poor Kirk. Oh well I guess you'll have to wait to figure out what goes down on the planet. The green cat-thing (it will be named eventually, lol) will make another debut. _**

**_Anywaysssssss... please review! I love my readers 3 If you think you know someone who would enjoy this story then pass it on. haha idk spread the unrequited loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. _**

**_review review review :)_**

**_~hace_**


	9. Denial

_******Wow, so, first update in 3 years. How about that? So sorry about the wait you guys :( I started college and whatnot and got so busy. I'd been wanting to update, but never really felt the motivation to write with all the other stuff I have going on in my life. But then a couple of days ago, I got an email from FF, saying that I had gotten a review from user Lorelai Pattern saying how they loved my story and hoped for an update, and well, that got me going again! **_

_****** I'm sorry if my writing is a little rusty. It's been a little while since I've tackled creative writing. I read through everything I had written prior to this (much to my surprise, my writing wasn't too horrible), to refamiliarize (is that a real word?) myself with the characters and the settings. I think I need to rewatch some Trek to get the characters to flow a little more naturally again. **  
_

**_Anyways, sorry for the wait, and I hope the writing is ok!_ **

* * *

**9. Denial**

McCoy couldn't keep his mind still as he made his way down to the transporter room. Yes, Kirk was going to be very angry with him, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Besides, Kirk enjoyed tossing him out into the unknown too often to hold a grudge; that would be hypocritical. He simply hoped that there was a positive outcome to the situation that he had placed both his nurse and his Captain, but most importantly, his friend in. _Kill me for wanting the man to be happy._

These hopes were dampened as a glassy-eyed Chapel quickly strode into the room, keeping her head lowered to the floor as she found her place next to him, closely followed only a few seconds behind by a wounded looking Kirk. _Oh… goddamn it_. He cursed under his breath. Bones hadn't seen Kirk this upset since Starfleet had told him he was grounded after cheating the Kobayashi Maru, and Christine's subtle hitched breathing made his dismay sink into an even deeper pit in his chest. He figured that it was safe to assume that it didn't go well. It was also safe to assume that that was an understatement. He skimmed the faces of the others stood in the room, searching for any signs that they had made a connection between nurse Chapel's and Kirk's current state, and sighed with relief when he found nothing to suggest so in their expressions. They were all too preoccupied with what the hobgoblin was saying. Bones knew exactly what Spock was telling the landing party, and he damn well could have said it in less time, too. He didn't need anyone to tell him how to do his job. Finally, the Vulcan stopped droning and the party moved towards the transporters that no matter how many times he used, McCoy found himself still loathing as much as he did the first time he used one in his cadet years back when he was simply training by being beamed from one room to the next. He looked over at his nurse, whose breathing had stabilized, though her nose and cheeks were still invaded by a strong shade of pink.

"Are you ready for take two, Nurse Chapel?" he asked as cheerily as was possible for the good doctor to muster. His only response was a quick glance upward and a meek smile. He didn't even dare ask Jim. He knew him better than anyone else on board, and was well aware of the fact that such a large ego made for an easy target; but he was even more aware of the fact that it was near impossible to get James Tiberius Kirk to have the pain written across his face the way it was now. A small glimpse at him from his spot on the transporter pad before dematerializing made Bones reconfirm his fears. Yep, by the looks of it, Christine Chapel had injected his ego with some of that future-red-matter-crap. His outlook on the mission was grim.

* * *

The captain surveyed his surroundings and his crew as they rematerialized onto the planet's surface. The expression that had graced his face only moments ago had been painted over by a more serious, determined demeanor.

"Alright." he said bluntly to gather the attention of his crew before they had had the opportunity to gather themselves. Heads snapped up to face their Captain in confusion. "Our sole mission here is to find that green cat, or another one of its species. No more gathering data." Kirk glanced at Spock, who gently nodded.

"Your decision seems logical, Captain, since we have extensive amounts of data already gathered. The description you gave me of the creature also suggested that is was of intelligent life; something that would be of important aid to my research."

"That's wonderful to hear, Mr. Spock, because I wasn't planning on leaving room for you to disagree with me." Kirk watched as Spock raised an eyebrow. "Now, the teams will be divided up differently this time, in order to better serve our new mission. There will be three teams, each looking for the cat-like creature I encountered earlier that seemed to show signs of intelligent life. It's very small, light green, and has big orange eyes. It seemed to be generally friendly, but be cautious if and when you approach it, because it somehow produces a pretty nasty force field if it feels threatened I assume." A quick glance at the party confirmed that they had registered the information, and even Spock looked much more interested now than he did previously. "The teams are as follows:" he continued. "Spock, Lieutenant Uhura, and cadets Yaris and Gale will search the area that Spock and Uhura had surveyed beforehand. Pash, cadet Navarro, and Bones; you will search the area that you surveyed prior to Pavel's accident as well as the area that Yaris and Gale were working. Nurse Chapel, you will be on a team with me since we found the thing together."

Kirk's face remained unreadable, but confusion and frustration danced across Christine's face for a fleeting moment.

"That's all that needs to be said. We meet back in four hours. Let's try to get this job done." Kirk said sternly, leaving no room for further discussion. The teams had begun to set off when Kirk stopped Bones by grabbing his shoulder. The Doctor turned to face his friend.

"Bones, just make sure that you keep Pasch away from tall structures and steep edges." The order made Chekov's cheeks flush once again with a deep rouge.

"I'll be sure to do that, Jim." he said as he eyed both the Captain and Christine wearily. Kirk looked as if nothing had ever happened, while his nurse, on the other hand, looked rather distraught. "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid, damnit."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kirk denied with a flick of his wrist. "I'll see you in four hours." He stood and waited as his friend slowly turned and lead Ana Sofía and Pavel towards their assigned area before he started walking in the opposite direction. "Nurse Chapel, we should be on our way."

* * *

Christine half heartedly looked at her Captain who was already several paces ahead of her before hurrying behind him. Neither of them said a word, but the Nurse's mind was screaming a variety of thoughts. She was felt ashamed, vulnerable, confused, and now weary of her Captain. She didn't like the situation she was in, the situation _he _put her in, and she couldn't shake the feeling that he had something up his sleeve. She hurt him, it was all to easy to see on the elevator. She hurt a man who was famous for overcoming the most ludicrous scenarios, and now she couldn't understand why the same man was forcing her to accompany him when he wouldn't even look at her. At one point, fear crept into her mind, but Christine scolded herself for even thinking such a thing. Captain Kirk was not that kind of man. Still well behind her Captain, she quickened her pace in order to be standing next to him. The silence was unbearable

"Captain…"

"Nurse." he replied.

"I… about the turbo lift…" she began, but Christine didn't know what to say after that. She still wasn't completely clear as to what happened when they kissed, or why her Captain did what he did, but she knew she was ashamed of reciprocating without knowing his intentions. Despite the fact that she did find him attractive and brave (among many other wonderful qualities), Christine Chapel wasn't one to be taken advantage of, and she had grown weary of Kirk's games before he had even made his advance. At first it seemed like he was waiting for her to finish her sentence, but before she could find a way to explain her reaction without further injuring him, Kirk stopped walking and spoke.

"The issue isn't relevant to the mission on hand, and will never be relevant to future missions. I see no need to discuss it… ever." he said sharply, eyes fixed on a random point in the distance. Christine frowned at him, shocked by his reaction. She thought talking it through would help mend things. He was still her Captain, after all. She tried a more gentle approach that she thought would help him open up.

"James," she noticed Kirk quickly glance at her "I wanted to…"

"We're on duty. You need to call me Captain." he interrupted. His tone was gentle, but Christine's jaw still dropped in surprise. She quickly closed her mouth, embarrassed that he might have seen. "Besides," he muttered "you know what people say about me. I'll go after anything that moves. You don't want to have sex with me; fine. I'm sure there are plenty of other women would would be more than happy to. So don't worry about me."

Nurse Chapel quickly blinked away the tears that welled up in her eyes. She didn't understand the way she was feeling. A part of her had hoped that he might have been looking for something more than to use her for his own pleasure. From all the stories she had heard from Uhura, it wasn't in his nature… but still, that moment that she returned his kiss in the turbo lift, she had hoped. And then her common sense kicked in. She regretted her reaction originally, but now she was grateful that she didn't let things escalate. _He would have used me and then thrown me out like all the rest, _she thought bitterly.

* * *

_What the hell did I just say? _Kirk thought angrily and he resumed walking. He couldn't believe that he had just thrown any sliver of a chance that remained out the window. _Who am I kidding, I never had a chance. _

"We should start where we left off." he said as normally as possible. Was he referring to their mission, or their relationship? The expression on Christine's face hinted that she was wondering the same thing. _You dumbass,_ he scolded himself, _there was never a relationship_. "It will give us a better chance of finding the cat." he clarified.

"I guess that makes sense…" the nurse replied slowly "but it vanished into thin air. It could have reappeared anywhere. And there is no way for us to track it."

_At least she got the hint. _He was relieved that she wasn't going to push the subject further. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. Like there was even anything to talk about in the first place. Now things just needed to go back to normal. Captain and Nurse and nothing more. Kirk decided that the only way to do that was to behave as normally as possible.

"Call me crazy, but I can't help but feel that it wanted something from me. So maybe if we just wander around, it will come to us." he tried to smile. "And that way, we can get a better look at this weird landscape." Nurse Chapel simply nodded meekly. He tried to think of something to say to her, but decided it would be best to move on silently for now. It would get easier.

* * *

They had been wandering for over an hour now, exchanging short conversations about various strange plants, rocks, and animals they encountered on their way. Asides from that, much wasn't said. Christine noted that the Captain was strangely enthusiastic about every little thing he saw, and would quickly become engrossed in any leaf or critter that crossed his path. He also didn't appear to understand why she wasn't quite as impressed.

_He wasn't sad for very long, _she though hopelessly as Kirk gleefully pointed out an ugly little bug sunning itself on a rock. _I guess he really didn't care very much about me. _She was so surprised by how quickly he appeared to get over her rejection that she wondered if he ever felt rejected at all. She was starting to feel angry that he had kissed her now. He got to move on with apparent ease, and she was the one left wondering. Christine was so lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice that Kirk was trying to speak with her.

"Christine. _Christine._" he repeated sternly, looking down at her from the top of a random boulder. He stood about fifteen feet above her.

"Sorry…" she mumbled "what is it?"

"You should come up here. The view is nice."

"Um, no thanks." she shook her head, keeping her eyes on the ground. "I'd rather stay down here and wait for the cat to turn up."

"We could probably spot it easier from up here."

"I'm fine where I am." she replied.

* * *

Kirk tried to keep his annoyance from revealing itself in his expression. _How can I even expect to act normally when she won't act normally. _The thought nagged at him. He had been trying so hard to make things "normal" again, whatever that meant, but the Nurse wouldn't even look at him. Despite his facade, he didn't feel like he was actually making any progress himself. He tried to further distract himself from his annoyance by checking with the other groups. Hopefully they had found something promising and they could regroup. He eagerly whipped out his communicator.

"This is your Captain speaking. Have there been any sightings?" A short pause followed before the voice of his first officer buzzed through.

"I'm afraid not, Captain."

"Alright" Kirk sighed, disappointed. "How about you, Bones?"

"We haven't seen a thing, Jim." Those weren't the responses Kirk was hoping to hear.

"Well, keep looking then. We'll rendezvous in two hours to beam back up. It looks like this planet's sun is going to set soon." He then turned his gaze to Christine, who was staring off into the distance. _I'm sure there are others like her, _he thought, not exactly convincing himself. He was becoming fed up with the way she placed a silent wall between them. Every second she was silent was another second his mind could return to the turbo lift, to her taste and her smell and the way her body felt pressed against his… and to how it was all lost in a brief moment.

"Nurse Chapel," he called down to her "I want you to join me up here."

"I'd rather stay where I am, Captain." she replied, unmoving.

"Nurse Chapel, that was an order." he said sternly, and watched while the Nurse turned her head to look up at him, glaring at him with her blue eyes to hide the emotion behind them. Then she began to climb up to him.

_Godammit. What am I thinking?_

* * *

_**I've already got the next couple of chapters in mind... I hope to be able to continue writing this story over the summer and hopefully finish it before the fall semester ends! Thanks for reading and don't forget to review :) **  
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